Mending a Fracture
by ambruary
Summary: Alex struggles with her place at Division and her crumbling relationships with all of the people around her all while dealing with some unexpected issues of her own. Nikita & Alex Friendship, Mikita Salex Owen/ read to find out.
1. Chapter 1

Alex didn't know what to think. Her life seemed to be crumbling before her eyes. Death at every turn, the strongest of friendships slowly dissolving into nothing, and now _this_. This was something she didn't know quite what to make of. Normally she would talk to Nikita; her one confident, her one true friend. But after what happened in South Ossetia….now she didn't know what to do or who to trust.

She couldn't exactly pinpoint when it started. The fragmenting of her friendship with Nikita. It didn't happen in one day. It wasn't just the words of Amanda. Though those didn't help any. No, it started long ago. _Here we go again. _Yes that was it. It was their exit window, the end of Division, a path to a better life. A path Nikita blocked off from everyone when she pulled them all back in for her mission to save Division. No. Not Division, the innocent recruits who would have been likely killed if Nikita hadn't saved them. So why didn't Alex walk away anyway? Why stay and save what took Papa away? The recruits weren't her problem, she got out and survived, so could they.

She stayed because Nikita needed her to. There it was. The root problem in her friendship with Nikita. Friendship, hah! Who could even call it that? When Nikita called, Alex answered. That was there relationship. But why did she answer? She answered because Nikita was the only one to ever really give her a second chance, and a third, and fourth. From the flames of her ruined life, from her self-destructive ways, and from the pits of revenge, Nikita was there pulling her out. It was Alex's need to repay her debt to Nikita that drove back underground to Division; that drove the great Alexandra Udinov from her life of wealth and power.

But she couldn't place her reason for staying all on Nikita. She herself was at fault too. She had multiple windows when she could have run for the hills and never been found. She escaped from Vlad by herself; she could have left Division behind too.

But Alex knew, her not being found after escaping the brothel wasn't skill, it was all luck. She was high most of the time, and when she wasn't she was looking for a way to get high. Tracking a junkie was probably pretty hard seeing as she herself had no idea where she would end up each night. Ronnie was her downfall. She stayed in one place for too long and that was where Nikita found her. Nikita cleaned her up, made her look all pretty and gave her a mission.

But that mission was over now. Alex had gotten here revenge for her family, Hell, she even found her mother alive and got her to safety too. Now without a mission of her own, Alex felt more like one of Nikita's pawns. What was it that Ryan said, something about us all being pawns in someone else's game of chess? No wait. That was Percy to who said that not Ryan. Hmm interesting slip. Although it was getting harder and harder to tell the two apart these days what with the kill chips, shady deals for funding, kill missions, and now, even Percy's black boxes were back in the picture hiding away the governments secrets as leverage.

So Ryan definitely couldn't be trusted. Neither could Michael or Owen as they would do anything for Nikita. Birkhoff might still be worth trusting, but he is not as hard to outsmart as he thinks and his cockiness could be dangerous. That left Sean.

Well of course there is Sean. The only one to always have Alex's back, even when he still wasn't sure he could trust her. She had to tell Sean, he would keep it to himself until it was safe, if it was ever safe.

She could hear the footsteps coming down the hall and reacted instantly, shoving the item in her hand into the bedside table drawer in her old recruit room and sat quickly on the bed trying to look relaxed even though her heart was thumping in her chest.

Owen opened the door without knocking and stuck only his head in,

"Hey, briefings starting on base level. Heard word that Amanda is in London for some reason." Owen squinted and tilted his head slightly, "Hey you okay? You look nervous about something." He continued to give her a look.

_He knows. No. He can't know anything, you don't even know anything for sure yet._

"Yeah I'm fine." Alex got off the bed and walked squeezed passed Owen through the door. She took a few more steps and then looked back, "You coming or what? I thought this was about Amanda, don't we all have to be there?"

Owen was still looking at her from the doorway. He blinked shook his head slightly, as if shaking away a thought and let go of the door and walked forward, "Yeah, of course. Let's go."

As Alex and Owen walked to the elevator at the end of the hall Alex could feel his eyes still watching here from behind. The heat on her back did nothing to stop the whooshing sound in her ears and the thumping in her chest. Alex started taking deeper breaths as she walked to calm her nerves. One useful tip from Amanda, perhaps the only useful thing she ever did.

Once they reach the elevator they looked at each other and smiled briefly and then they both looked at the floor and waiting as the elevator took them to the command center.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey don't expect updates to always be this soon, but for now I'm on spring break and am bored so enjoy!**

The group all stood around the curved glass table as they looked at the screen before them.

"London. The most surveyed city in the world. Whatever Amanda has planned, she's not afraid of us, or anyone who's looking for that matter, finding out." Birkhoff said as he ran through various pictures of Amanda in dark alley ways and beaten down parts of the city.

"All the locations seem similar. Dark, dank, depressing. Not somewhere you'd expect to find Amanda." Owen said.

"Yes, definitely not a place she would go unless she had to." Said Nikita.

"Michael what are you thinking?" asked Ryan. Michael had stayed silent through all of the presentation and had a grimace on his face as he inspected the images in front of him.

"I'm thinking MI6." He said as he turned away and clenched his human fist.

"MI6. Yeah, it makes perfect sense. She probably drained the resources of Gogol and now she needs fresh blood. She probably plans to infiltrate MI6, turn a bunch of agents and replenish her supplies." Sean piped in.

"Wait a minute, why jump straight to MI6? There are tons of gangs, mob members and others of that sort in London that Amanda could probably hire for mercenaries. Why would she try to corrupt government employees?" Ryan asked.

"Because corrupting government employees is so hard?" Alex said sarcastically.

"I've been monitoring MI6's movements since our last trip to the U.K. and I know that all those places that she's visiting are MI6 safe houses. That's why I know it's MI6. I mean it's a solid plan. After she rubbed noses with the CIA she can't exactly put another sleeper in place for a while without getting caught, so she goes to the next biggest intelligence association in the world and goes from there." Michael said.

"Why have you been surveying the operations of MI6?" asked Ryan.

Michael grimaced, anticipating the question but still hoping it didn't come. Alex noticed his wary glance at Ryan and then Nikita. Interesting, even Michael didn't fully trust Ryan anymore. Alex knew why he was watching MI6. Max and Cassandra, Michael's son and an ex fling from a past mission, were on the run from MI6. Michael was watching to make sure no one knew anything they shouldn't so that Max and Cassandra could stay safe.

"It's personal." Nikita supplied as she put her hand on Michael's shoulder only to have it gently shrugged off as he turned to walk out.

"Hey man, where you going?" called Birkhoff after him.

"I have to check on something." Michael called back.

"Okay. Sonya and Birkhoff try to pinpoint exactly what it is that Amanda is doing, and if Michael's right, who within MI6 she has already gotten to. I'll send warning to MI6. You four get ready to go to London, we need eyes on the ground as soon as possible." Everyone nodded and headed out in separate direction.

"Hey Sean wait a second can I talk to you for a second?" Alex said as she stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

"Of course, what's up?"

Alex looked warily around her and saw Nikita from the corner facing Owen but still watching her from the corner of her eye.

"Not here, follow me." Alex led him back to their shared room.

Since Sean couldn't go topside, and Alex had to play the part of the devastated girlfriend, she had sold their apartment in the city and moved most of their stuff down to her old recruit room that she now shared with Sean. It was more convenient to be down there anyway, always ready for any call that came in and she could avoid all those pitying looks from her neighbors that she kept getting after Sean's announced death.

Alex lead him into the room sat him on the bed and closed the door behind her, but stopped and leaned against it for a moment as she tried to slow her heart beat that had once again began thumping in her chest. Sean immediately noticed her distress and got up from the bed and grasped her shaking hands in his.

"Alex are you okay? You're shaking." She looked up at him and he saw a few tears building up in her blue eyes. She quickly bit her lip shook her head that she was fine and moved past him to the drawer where she got out the item that she had shoved there earlier.

"I'm sorry Sean. I'm so, so sorry….I know this is probably the worst thing that…I just….I'm sorry…."She rambled on as she turned around and showed him what was in her hand.

He stood there, eyes wide, stock still, and stared. He looked as if all the breath had been knocked out of him.

"Sean?" Alex asked very scared of his reaction.

"Alex is that a….is that …What does that mean?" He finally seemed to be able to find his voice.

"It means that I might be …pregnant." There she said it. The word. So full of meaning, of change, of ….what else she didn't quite know yet.

That finally seemed to wake Sean up and bring him back to his normal self.

"Wait, what do you mean 'Might be'?" He asked looking confused.

"Well, I mean it's only one home test Sean. These things are not one hundred percent accurate, and I can't really just go to any doctor off the street. Not to mention I doubt medical here is equipped for this sort of thing." Alex said.

Sean sighed and sat down on the bed and put his face in his hands.

"Listen I know this is the worst timing for this sort of thing, and are lives aren't exactly conducive to a happy healthy life but…..if this is real…and if you want to too…..I'd like to give it a shot." There she said it. He deepest desire, to live a happy, normal life. This definitely wouldn't make her life normal by any means, but starting a family with a man she….loved, that was a start.

She really did love him. Not in the way where she looked up to and somewhat liked Thom. Not in the way she had a passionate, and yet false relationship with Nathan. No, she could, and did, manage to leave those men in her past and move on. But without Sean, she knew she wouldn't quite be able to put all the pieces back into place.

A smile began to slowly grow on Sean's face, which in turn caused Alex to smile.

"So a baby huh?" He said as he looked up at her with a small smile.

"Does this mean you're not upset?" Alex asked still a little nervous of his answer.

"No, I mean we have really shitty timing, but other than that it's…..it's perfect." Both their smiles grew and Alex moved from her spot against the wall to Sean's lap and pulled him into a hug. She put her face in the crook of his neck and breathed in his scent, never wanting this moment to end.

"How did this even happen?" Sean asked.

"I think you know how this happened Sean." Alex said with a small laugh as she pulled from his body and looked at him with a smirk. He laughed too.

"No I understand _that_, I just mean we were always careful about protection."

"Not always. There was that time when you first came back. I remember a distinct lack of preparation that time Boy Scout. Not to mention the various meds we were on and no one really knows all the side effects of Sobelex yet so….." Alex stopped dead as soon as the words came out of her mouth. No, she had always been so careful. How could she have let it slip just like that?

"Sobelex? What's that?" Sean asked. Alex quickly got up from Sean's lap and turned away from him so he couldn't see the guilt in her eyes.

"After…After I got shot I …I just needed something to stop the pain so that I could do my job so I found a pain killer in medical and …it helped so I just kept using it until Michael found out and …But I haven't used anything in months! And it was just one slip it didn't mean that…" Alex was wringing her hand and pacing back and forth in front of him not once stopping to look at him.

"Why am I only finding out about this now?" Sean asked with a hint of anger leaking into his voice as he to stood up from the bed and put his hands on his hips.

"I hadn't been using for a few weeks by the time you came back so I thought it didn't matter." She said the tears that had built up before came back with a vengeance.

"How come you didn't talk to someone before it got to that point, like Nikita or you could have called me!" Sean said slightly louder than he intended to.

Alex scoffed at that.

"I can't talk to Nikita about anything anymore. And I did call you but you never answered you're damn phone!" Alex yelled back.

Sean immediately noticed how distressed she was and the anger quickly faded. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her as he held her tight.

"Hey, hey, I'm sorry. It's alright. Listen I'm never going to leave again. I'm going to be right here unless you want me to go, and even then you'll have to use all of Division and then to some to get me to leave you." He whispered into her hair as he held her.

"Not that you could go anywhere, since you're dead and all that." She whispered back with a slight sniffle.

"I wouldn't want to even if I could." He reassured her. "It's never been so easy to rattle you before, what's up with that?" He questioned with a smirk.

"Hormones. " She joked back.

"Oh this is going to be an interesting experience." He smiled broadly and then he kissed her on her forehead and pulled her even more tightly into his arms.

An interesting experience indeed.


	3. Chapter 3

"If you keep looking at me like that I swear to God Sean…" Alex left the threat in the air. They were seated next to each other in coach on a plane headed for London. With Division budget cuts, private jets were no longer a privilege due to the cost of jet fuel. Luckily it wasn't too long after the briefing in Operations though, and they were already in the air.

"Looking at you like what?" Sean asked with a smile knowing full well what she was talking about.

"Like I'm going to fall apart any second. I'm pregnant, not dying. Hell we don't even know if that's definite yet." She whispered back at him.

"Yes, and once we get back from this mission, you're seeing a real doctor." He replied.

"How can we risk that? Alexandra Udinov's face is all over the place, as is yours still. We can't exactly just show up at the nearest clinic and hope to keep it quiet. If this information gets into the wrong hands it could be disastrous, not just for us either."

"The shooting at the farmer's market got my beautiful mug off the networks weeks ago. The psycho SEAL is long gone from everyone's radar. And I've seen you change your appearance enough to fool people before. We just need confirmation of what we're already pretty sure about." Sean's logical explanation made Alex huff and slide further down in her seat.

"So why are we even going to London anyway? By the time we get there Amanda will be long gone." Sean asked.

In response, Alex pulled out a black folder and opened it up to reveal several sheets of paper from within it. Each sheet had a picture and statistics of different members of MI6.

"Michael has a source in the agency. He told him that they already suspecting certain agents of being spies. Once Birkhoff used shadownet to gather intel, they were able to narrow down the suspects to these seven. They're saying it's similar to the Cambridge Five, which was a group of Soviet spies that infiltrated MI6 back during the Cold War. Birkhoff decided to call this group the Vauxhall Seven. There are three women and four men that have all been likely turned by Amanda. She may be gone but these people are still there and they might have some info we could use." Alex explained.

"There's a lot of mights and maybes in that scenario and I still don't see why we're going to London. If they have suspects why don't they just take them in and interrogate them internally. Ryan can just ask for the intel afterwards and we could all be headed directly to Amanda without this goose chase."

"Division's not exactly on good terms with MI6 and so there is no way they're just going to hand over information about internal affairs to a shady agency with no real political power. Nikita believes that since these people have been turned once they can be turned again, but this time to our side. Her plan is to get to them before MI6 does. Knowing her, she'll promise to save them from whatever Amanda has on them and we'll end up with seven new recruits at Division." Alex sighed and shoved the papers back into the folder and put all the material away.

"So the four of us are going to track down seven highly motivated and highly trained operatives in hopes that one of them will crack. Yeah, I'm not seeing the universe in which this ends well for us." Sean said.

"I'm not sure how this will play out either but at least I know you'll be there to have my back." Alex smiled up at him.

"You know I will." He smiled back down at her and took hand in his rubbing his thumb over the top of it.

"_Attention passengers, the plane will be landing in approximately five minutes. Local time is 2:37 p.m. Current Temperature is a pleasant 13 degrees Celsius. Please buckle your seat belts, place your tray tables in the upright and locked position and turn off all electronic devices for a safe landing. And as always thank you for flying with AirMerica." _

Alex and Sean met up with Owen and Nikita at baggage claim and quickly headed out of the airport.

"Alright Michael we're on the ground. What's the plan?" Nikita spoke into the comm.

"We have two main addresses for you. The first is a Women's Only gym on Goding Street. That's where you're likely to find two of the female suspects who frequent there. The second address is a little father in the opposite direction across the Thames. It's a place called the White Swan, that's where you'll likely find a few of the male suspects. The last female suspect is currently away on a mission in Belize with no expected return date that we could find so we'll have to focus on the suspects still in London."

Nikita ran the plan through her head and saw the changes that had to be made. It wouldn't work for either Owen or Sean to go to the gym, and with two addresses they would have to split up. It looked like the normal arrangements would have to be a changed.

"Alright, Owen and Sean you head to the White Swan, Alex and I will go to the gym. We should meet up here in two hours exactly. Radio in if anything goes wrong and stay on comms with operations at all times."

Alex gave a wary glance at Sean and then hugged him quickly and then went to follow Nikita who had already started walking down the street. Sean stared after her until she turned the corner.

"I know that you love her and all, but it's two hours. I think you'll get through this rough patch buddy." Owen said as he put a mockingly comforting hand on Sean's shoulder.

Sean turned and glared at Owen as he shrugged his hand off him.

"Come on, let's go. We have a mission to do." Sean said and walked toward the bridge.

Alex and Nikita walked quickly in silence to the gym. Not too long ago they would be cracking jokes about the men in their lives knowing full well they could hear every word they said. But times like that were over. Alex understood the practicality of splitting the teams up like this, but it didn't mean she didn't wish it was Sean with her instead of Nikita. It was so strange to think that it was only a few weeks back that she was so happy to be teaming up with Nikita again. Sure she hadn't been in the field for a few weeks before that due to her relapse, but she hadn't been in the field with Nikita for even longer than that. Alex's thought stopped one the two women reached the doors to the gym.

"Alright we are inside. Where to?"

"The two suspects are currently scheduled for a weight lifting class on the third floor. Take the stairs on your left up and then go right down the hall and take the first door on your right." Birkhoff responded.

The women ran up the stairs and then entered the door they were told to. However, once they reached the room they saw instead of weights and exercise equipment there was just a bare table and the room looked like it was being renovated.

"Birkhoff are you sure it was on the right? There's no one in here and there is no way any class was supposed to be here." Alex asked as she looked around the room confused.

"Yeah, I'm sure. You guys must have gone through a different door." He responded.

The girls looked at each other and accepted his response. They both tuned back toward the door they had come in and headed out.

All the sudden both Alex and Nikita felt the distinct pain of being electrocuted with a taser and they both fell to the ground immediately. The last though running through Alex's mind before she passed out was how she was really starting to hate who ever first decided that electrocution for any reason was a good idea.


	4. Chapter 4

When Alex's eyes opened the first thing she saw was concrete. Before moving and alerting anyone who might be around that she was awake she checked her body for injuries. Other than a pinching feeling in her back, likely where the taser had gone in, and slight pounding in her head, she felt fine. She also noticed that neither her hands nor feet were constrained in any way. Interesting. She was just lying on the ground in a somewhat uncomfortable position. Unfortunately, she also noticed that her comm was also missing. That wasn't good. Sean would be freaking out soon if he wasn't already.

Then a though struck. The baby. From her rough calculations, Alex was around six weeks pregnant if at all. She had no idea what kind of effect electric shock could have on a fetus but she hoped that the fact that she felt fine was a good sign. But with no one to ask she couldn't be sure, and so the fear in her gut did not go away completely.

Alex slowly lifted herself up and looked around. She was in a cage, about the size of a jail cell, but it was in the center of a large room and Nikita lay on the other side leaning up against the metal wall. Alex couldn't tell if she was still unconscious or not because her eyes were closed. There didn't seem to be anyone in the warehouse sized room with large crates were sporadically spread throughout the area. Bright light still shined through all of the windows near the ceiling. Good; that meant it hadn't been long since they were at the gym since it was still daylight. They couldn't have been too far from the gym.

"Hey Nikita, you alright?" Alex called out, her voice a little hoarse.

Nikita opened her eyes slowly, letting her eyes adjust to the brightness of the room. She began to stand up but fell back and put her hand to her head to stop the rushing feeling. Alex started to get up, concerned with Nikita's apparent state, but was waved off by a wave of Nikita's hand signaling she was fine. Both women sat on floor examining the room around them.

Finally Alex broke the silence.

"Looks like our MI6 friends are a little past saving."

"You don't know that." Nikita said causing Alex to look at her with an incredulous expression.

"What do you mean? Nikita look around us, we're in a cage in the middle of some Warehouse that's only God knows where and we have no comms. The only likely suspect for putting us here are the agents from MI6." She said slighted exasperated.

"They didn't hurt us in any way, they're only holding us. That means haven't decided yet what they're doing."

"No, that means they're following Amanda's orders and holding us until she gets here. They only haven't hurt us yet because they don't have the authority to do so. If they weren't sure about us yet they wouldn't have taken us hostage in the first place. I'm sorry Nikita but trying to turn a turned agent doesn't really work to well for us. I mean if you don't remember I got shot last time we tried this plan, and now look where it has us. " Alex gestured to the room around them.

"Everyone deserves a second chance Alex; you of all people should know that." Nikita said back, her voice expressing her growing agitation.

"They weren't forced into this. If you even looked at the information we have on them you'll see that they're all fairly well off individuals with clean records. The only logical reason for helping out Amanda is that they want to and expect to get some reward in the end for their service. These are the lives they have chosen, and they will get what they deserve." Alex responded with her own agitation firing up within her body.

Nikita looked up as Alex's words unknowingly echoes Ari's.

"You know Ari had said the same thing." Nikita said. Her voice soft and her eyes bore into Alex.

"Well there's one thing he was right about. He chose his path over twenty years ago to follow Amanda. His fate was sealed the day he met her. But Larissa's…..I needed you that day Nikita and you left me to go try and save _Ari. _I thought we were taking Division down so that we could save its innocent victims, not help those who created it. Larissa was one of those victims, and now she's dead." Alex's shoulders sagged.

"It's not Division that is really the problem. What's really causing all the trouble is the dirty thirty out there and Amanda in the wind chasing us down. As long as we're the ones in charge of Division, there's a chance we can use it to make a real, positive, difference in the world." Nikita tried to explain but her words only made Alex scoff.

"I went into to Division three years ago with a plan to take down Percy because at the time I thought he was the one who killed my parents. He played his part, but it wasn't just him. So then I tried to use Division to help me get Semak, and you tried to stop me, and you were right to. Division is not a tool to be used; it's a gun without a safety. It's dangerous no matter whose hands it's in!" Alex yelled.

"Then what are we supposed to do? If we give up now Amanda wins. With the President breathing down our necks our hands are tied! All those people back at Division, you know how they were brought in and you know that they can't just be let back into society. The President wants a clean sweep unless we show her that they can still be useful. Our methods aren't perfect, I never said they were, but they're all we've got."

"Amanda is not coming after Division, she's coming after you. If we want to stop her, we have to exploit her weakness. For Percy it was power, but her, it's love. Psychotically twisted love, but still…. You were her greatest creation, but you betrayed her when you ran away. She'll never be able to get over that betrayal, so we use it to draw her in. We stop running from her or tracking her, we leave her with no option but to come to us. We can show how all her actions are brought about by Gogol and since Gogol was never a U.S. weapon or ally of Division, the President can't blame you or Ryan for her deeds. As for the dirty thirty, we can give their files to the FBI and CIA. The government wants them taken care of, so the government can deal with them their selves." Alex said, taking a deep breath and waiting.

After a moment Nikita responded.

"You've thought about this a bit haven't you?" Nikita said with a weak smile, her body tired from the argument.

"Once or twice." Alex returned the smile.

"Alex…I'm sorry, I haven't been there for you lately. I do care about you a lot….It's just all this with Amanda and…I promise to be there from now on I really do." Nikita said getting up and going to sit down next to her prodigy.

"No, don't worry about it…I understand, especially with all that has happened to Michael. He needed you the most." She said back moving into Nikita's comforting embrace.

"No before that, you needed me and I wasn't paying attention. After you got shot, and then Sean leaving right afterward, I should have know it was all too much."

"I was weak; you can't blame yourself for that. There was no reason to react that way over some boy." Alex countered.

"You're not weak at all; you're the strongest person I know. And we all do stupid things when we're in love." Nikita gave a knowing smile to Alex.

There tender moment was interrupted instantly with the sound of clapping hands coming from behind them.

"Well isn't that just adorable." A tall blonde walked from the shadows with a red head following close behind, each with a smirk on their face. Both women in the cage instantly jumped up, blood pumping in their veins with energy at the sight.

"You'll see just how adorable I can be when I beat your ass you crazy bitch." Alex growled as the grabbed the bars of the grabbed the bars of the cage.

"Yeah you're not going anywhere and once Amand-" The red head was cut off as a bullet entered the back of her head killing her instantly. The blonde couldn't even turn around before she too was shot into the chest. Once her body fell the women could see Owen and Sean with raised weapons running toward them.

"Two down five to go." Owen said as he turned the blonde's body over with his foot.

"Step back!" Sean yelled and then shot the lock from the cage door. He then yanked the door open and pulled Alex into a crushing hug.

"God I was so worried are you okay is the.."Alex stopped Sean with her hand on his chest.

"I'm fine, everything's fine. Let's just go." She reassured him with a small smile. He just pulled her into another hug trying to convince himself that he hadn't lost her.

"Nikita you good?" Owen asked as he handed her a comm.

"All good. How'd you guys even find us anyway?" She asked as she put the comm in her ear.

"Birkhoff said something about satellites and cameras, I don't really know, but for once I'm really glad that London is crazy about surveillance." Sean said his eyes never leaving Alex. His actions only caused Owen to roll his eyes.

"Hey Nikita is that you? Glad to hear you and Alex are safe. Listen, we have an idea where the next suspect might be-"

"No." Nikita cut him off causing everyone to look up at her in confusion.

"No, we're coming back. We have a different plan." Nikita said causing Alex to give her a smile. Nikita smiled back and they all left the warehouse. Both men followed, confused as to what the exchange between the women meant and as to what this new plan was, but they didn't ask. It looked like Alex and Nikita were on the same page once again and everything was looking up for once.


	5. Chapter 5

"So Michael told me that Nikita got the all clear. What about Alex here Doc?" Sean asked as he walked into medical. He took Alex's hands into his and looked over to the doctor.

"I just finished, and she's completely healthy, nothing to worry about." She turned to leave.

"Wait a minute, there's just one more thing." Alex spoke up and her words made the doctor stop and turn around.

"Alex are you sure? Here? I thought you wanted to wait." Sean asked.

"I need to know, for sure." She said causing him to smile and nod with understanding.

"What can I help you with?" The doctor asked coming back into the room. After noticing the glances between Alex and Sean she closed the door behind her and waited.

"I need you to run a pregnancy test." Alex said.

The doctor's eyes rose with shock, but once she controlled her emotions she went to prepare the equipment she would need.

"This is of course very sensitive information." Sean said; the threat in his voice not lost on the doctor.

"I understand. I may work for division but did take an oath, doctor confidentiality does apply even here. Unless of course I discover anything that may become a threat to your health or others." She said as she walked toward Alex in order to take a blood sample.

"If she is pregnant, would being tasered have any effect on the child?" Sean asked, Alex's eyes reflected her eagerness to know the answer as well.

"No. A taser only affects the muscle directly under the skin and would have no effect on a fetus in such an early stage of pregnancy. Of course I recommend avoiding tasers all together but she should be fine." She said, relieving both Sean and Alex, and then she finished taking the blood sample.

"Alright I should know something in around ten minutes if you would just wait right here." She said.

"We'll know that soon?" Alex asked looking shocked.

"Yes, that's one benefit of working for Division; we get the highest level of tech available. Even for things like this. One question, when was the date of your last period?" She asked.

Alex's cheeks tinted pink but she answered the question. "Around mid January." The doctor nodded and walked to the other side of the med lab leaving Alex and Sean in anticipation.

"Ten minutes, huh." Sean said.

"You ready for this?" Alex asked.

"I'm a boy scout remember? I'm always ready." He responded holding her hand a little tighter causing Alex to smile.

The room was silent for a few minutes, but it ended when Alex let out a small laugh.

"What's funny?" asked Sean.

"I never thought I would be here. It's so…normal." Alex said.

"It's normal to find out if you're pregnant in an underground bunker belonging to a secret black ops group? I think your definition of normal is more than a little warped." Sean said.

"Well when you put it like that…"Alex started to say.

"Alright here we are." The doctor returned. "It looks like you are indeed pregnant. You look to be around eight weeks along." She said as she looked at the data on her clipboard.

"Eight weeks? That's impossible, Sean wasn't even around eight weeks ago and I don't know what type of person you think I am but I did-" She was cut off by the doctor's raised hand.

"Relax, pregnancy is measured from your last missed period not by date of conception. Therefore what you probably thought should be six weeks is actually eight. This is good news. This means you're over half way done with the first trimester. However it also means that if you haven't gotten morning sickness yet, you should expect it very soon; unless of course you're lucky and don't every get it." The doctor explained.

The two were silent with a little bit of information overload.

"Alright, I'll leave you two to take this all in. Remember I'm not an OB/GYN so I recommend talking to a specialist. And don't worry nothing here leaves unless you decide it does." She then left the med lab.

Alex sat stock still on the examination table. Sean, a little stunned himself, stood next to her.

"So it's real now." Sean said, finally looking at Alex.

"Yes it is." Alex responded.

"What do we do now?" asked Sean.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Well do tell Nikita? When do you stop going out into the field? Are you even allowed to shoot a gun? What is the…." Sean rambled off question after question but one made Alex stop him.

"What do you mean 'When do I stop going into the field'? Who says I'm not going into the field?" Alex got up from the exam table and put her hands on her hips.

"You're pregnant now, you obviously can't fight. You'll get shot or captured again." Sean said.

"I can fight just fine. I'm not defenseless!" Alex yelled.

"You can't just think about yourself anymore Alex!"

"When have I ever thought only about myself?"

"Oh I don't know how about when you brought me into division?"

"I fought to make sure that was your choice! You chose to come here all on your own!"

"What choice did I have really? My only other option was to go prison for the rest of my life!"

"Well I'm sorry that you're upset that I saved your life."

"Saved it? My career as a Navy SEAL is over, I can never see my family again, and I'm stuck here. You said you gave me a second chance but honestly it's like you shot me yourself! And how do I even know that kid is mine anyhow? I mean we all know how much you like sharing all your secrets with Owen, and he was around when I wasn't!" Sean growled.

Alex's eyes widened and she stepped back as though he had slapped her. Her eyes began to well up with tears.

"Well, I'm sorry that a life with me is no better than death and that you think I'm the kind of person that would cheat." Her hair covered her face and Sean could only see the tears trail down her cheeks for a second before she ran from the room. Sean's temper quickly deflated as he realized what he had said and what that implied.

"Alex wait, that's not what I meant! I don't think that…" He called after her, but it was no use as she was already long gone.

"Dammit!" He yelled as he punched the wall not even feeling the pain as his knuckles crashed into the solid metal. He punched it over and over again trying to get the sight of her distraught face out of his of his head. _You put that look there._ Crunch. _You caused her that pain_. Crack. The blood on his hands could not overcome the pain in his heart for producing that look.

Alex slammed the door behind her and collapsed to the floor against it. She put her hands in her arms and continued to cry.

She knew he blamed her. How could he not? She took him away from his family, friends and career. Everything he had said was right; she did kill him, and for what? Just so he could be with her? She wasn't worth that. The tradeoff he made was very unbalanced. He lost everything he ever loved for a life in the shadows fighting to keep around the thing that killed his mother. All because Alex made him think for a second that she was worth it. He obviously realized what a mistake he had made now.

Alex knew this would end badly, but she never expected it to hurt so much. She loved him, more than anyone she had ever loved, and now he hated her. Her heart ached in her chest and the tears would not stop their cascade down her face.

"I'm so sorry." Alex whispered to the life growing inside of her. "I'm so sorry, I ruined everything."


	6. Chapter 6

Every night, after the lights of Division would go off and the whole building was covered in darkness, Owen would go up to the training level and punch a bag until his knuckles were covered in purple bruises. He needed the escape to relieve his endless thoughts that were so focused on trying to remember…_anything!_ No matter what he did, no matter how close they got to Amanda, it was beginning to look like he would never know who he….or Sam….was. That hopelessness gave Owen the desperate need to just punch something. Ordinarily, he would have the entire level to himself, just him and the bag swinging back and forth, but tonight was no ordinary night.

As soon as Owen set foot off the elevator he saw him. Sean, covered in sweat that had drenched his entire shirt through punching a training dummy. Momentarily he was annoyed, to have his ritual interrupted, but once he saw the expression on Sean's face in the reflection of the glass in front of him, he was filled instead with sympathy.

Cleaners had many nicknames, reapers was one, but often times they were also called terminators. The other operatives saw them as emotionless robots with their suitcases full of acid and blank stares. But cleaners weren't emotionless, in fact they felt _too_ much. Their attention to detail made them take in every micro expression, every twitch, and every flicker of the eye; it was as if they could see into the souls of the people before them.

So Owen knew instantly that Sean wasn't just punching that dummy for his health; no, he had hatred in his eyes. Self-deprecating hatred. Owen would bet all his forgotten memories that it had something to do with his and Alex's prolonged visit to Medical earlier today too.

"Girl troubles?" Owen asked as he got close enough. He put down his own gym bag and began to practice on the dummy next to Sean, but with nowhere the same amount of vigor.

"None….of your….business!" Sean accented each word with a harsh punch to the dummy's face. At such a close distance Owen could see Sean's hands, purple and blue with deep gashes on each knuckle. There was no way the rubber dummy had caused that kind of damage.

"What the hell happened to your hands?" Owen asked, although he had a pretty good idea as he had seen the wall near medical when he had gone looking for Alex to make sure she was fine. Alex was long gone, but a snarky female doctor had said she was in perfect health. Owen had no idea why news like that would make Sean punched a concrete and metal wall.

"What did I just say? It's none of your God Damned business!" Sean took a step back from the dummy and took a menacing step toward Owen.

"Hey I was just asking! What the hell is your problem? Nikita is fine, Alex is fine, and we all got back from the mission in one piece! Hell, Nikita and Alex have even seemed to work out whatever their issues were too. Everything is as good as it probably will be for a long while. So what has gotten into you?" Owen yelled as he took a step back, raising his arms slightly in case the ex-SEAL decided to attack.

Sean scoffed and ran his bloodied hand through his hand but then his expression changed. He began to break down right before Owen's eyes; his eyes began to water and his face contorted in a way that made Owen uncomfortable to near such naked emotion.

"I ruined everything." It sounded like Sean had said, although Owen couldn't be sure as it came muffled from Sean's collapsed form.

Owen sat down next to him, unsure of what to do. He never was good with expressing his emotions, reading them on other people sure, but dealing with them, that was a whole other hurtle.

"Hey man, she brought you back from the dead. I'm sure you can get past this, whatever this is." Owen tried to comfort Sean. He and Sean weren't friends, and sure he liked to dig on his relationship with Alex from time to time, but Sean was a decent guy, and he could use a little support after being brought into Division and having to leave his whole other life behind him.

"Even after I practically called Alex a whore and that I being in Division was worse than death?" Sean asked finally pulling his face up from his arms.

Owen's eye's widened in shock. Never mind, Sean was an asshole.

"Seriously? You're a dick, dude. What the hell did you do that for?" Owen couldn't even fathom what would make Sean say that a girl he supposedly loved, especially after he just got her back.

"I have no idea. I guess I just got….scared." Sean said. Owen could see how much the word weighed on him, as if he had never admitted to fear before in his life.

"Scared of what?" What could possibly scare a SEAL? Owen couldn't think of one thing that could frighten away a man who faced death every day and still managed to get the girl. Even when he didn't deserve her.

Sean looked at Owen closely. Owen thought it looked like he wanted to say something, but wasn't sure if he could trust the man sitting in front of him. After a moment Sean spoke, the words obviously relieving him from a weight that had been pressing him down all afternoon.

"Alex is pregnant." Whoa, that was not what Owen had been expecting at all. No emotion reading ability could have prepared him for that. No wonder he was scared. Owen would have probably wet himself if had ever ….then a thought struck him.

"Wait, did you say those things to Alex before or after you found out she was …pregnant." Owen stumbled over the word.

"About two minutes after." Sean said, shame overpowering all other emotions on his face.

"You're all kinds of stupid. How could you ever say something like that to her, especially then!"

"I don't know alright! When we found out for sure…..it just….it was so real. And it got me thinking about my family and how I'd never see any of them again and how my sisters would never get to meet their niece or nephew. Then I thought about our lives and how dangerous they are. We almost die practically every day and like you said, we had just gotten Alex back. This is no life for kid, especially a defenseless infant. There's no way I can protect them all the time! So then I started asking when she would stop going out into the field, you know. It's way too dangerous now. But she blows up at me, saying how she can protect herself and she's not going to stop going out into the field just because she's…..And that just made me so mad! It's like she doesn't even care! It's not just her life she's got to take care of anymore. I mean she's been shot and captured multiple times. It's not safe, and yet she wants to go out there anyway!" Sean was breathing heavily by the end. His face was red and he was all worked up.

Owen didn't care, this guy was an idiot.

"The reason she wants to go out into the field is _because_ it's not safe. It's not safe anywhere and it's sure as hell not safer here in Division. She feels like she has to go out into the field because that's the only way she can make a difference. It's her way of protecting the ones she loves, by making the world safer, killing one bad guy at a time." Owen explained, trying to get through to this thick headed brute, but Sean only snorted.

"And you would know exactly how she feels huh? What do you two do anyway? Braid each other's hair when share all your dark secrets?" Sean looked at Owen with scathing eyes.

"You still pissed about the tattoo thing? Man you gotta get over that! It was one story from her past!" Owen yelled.

"Yeah, one she wouldn't tell me!"

"Why would she want to? Growing up your life was probably American flags and apple pie, whereas hers was drugs and the sex trade. You're her knight in shining armor come to take her off to a better life. A future she thought she could never have. Why would she want to relive her past when she can have a second chance at a new life, even better than the one she had before, with you?" Owen asked the final question a little more gently.

Sean swallowed and looked away.

"I really screwed up this time." Sean said.

"Yeah you did, but don't worry. She loves you too much to be mad for long." Owen's words caused Sean to look up at him confused.

"Oh come on man, like you don't know. I mean everyone can see it every time she looks at you. You're her whole world." Owen said.

"Well she's never said anything to me." Sean said, still not believing it. Love? Really?

"And can you blame her when you go say shit like that?" That caused Sean to sigh deeply. Yeah, he was a real ass.

"No go down to medical, get your hands fixed up and then go get your girl. She's probably in worse shape than you are." Owen shoved Sean gently on the shoulder and they both walked toward the elevator.

"Thanks." Sean said without turning to look at Owen.

"Don't worry about it, but if you ever hurt her again, you're worst mission with the SEALs with seem like paradise." Owen threatened.

"If I hurt her again, I won't even put up a fight." Sean said, pushing the button on the elevator to close the door.

It was time to fix this.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I'm back at school now so updates might become less frequent but I'll try my best. I would also like to thank all the reviewers/ followers/ and those that have favorited this story. You all make it really easy to give quick updates. Thanks, and enjoy!**

Sean quietly opened the door to their room and peaked into the darkness. Alex was lying on the bed with her back to the door. She wasn't sleeping though; her posture was far too tense for that.

"Alex?" Sean asked gently as he stepped in the room and turned on the light. She responded by rolling over and looking at him. Her face was tear stained, so he could tell she had been crying, but her face was hard. It was as if all the walls he had spent the past year and a half trying to break down had shot straight back up with new reinforcements. This situation had to be dealt with very gently, or Sean would surely lose her for good. Her eyes bore into him but she stayed silent.

"I'm really, really sorry." Sean said. He had no idea how to even begin repenting for what he had said, but he figured that would be a start.

"No, it's alright. I understand." Alex said reassuringly. There wasn't even a waver in her voice, it held strong. Sean didn't know what to think. The woman before him seemed so foreign.

"How can you understand something so messed up as me saying such horrible things to the woman I love?" He made a move to sit down next to her on the bed. His words made Alex's blank face shift a little. _There._ That change in her expression was just what Sean needed to know he still had a chance at her forgiveness, not that he would blame her if she never talked to him again. He kept talking since she stayed silent.

"I love you Alex and I never thought for a second that you ever cheated on me, and I don't blame you for being in Division. Yeah it sucks that I can't see my family again, but I already have another family here. The only reason that I said those things was because ….I'm scared. I'm absolutely terrified that I will lose another person that I love. My father died when I was ten years old, and I never got a chance to really get to know him. When I became a SEAL there were many missions I went on where one of my teammates didn't come back with me. And with my mother,….I watched her like a hawk. I planned every bit of her day and did recon on each and every place she went to, but it wasn't enough. No matter what I did, or how hard I tried, the people I cared about still kept dying all around me. I can't protect you from everything Alex, but that doesn't mean that will stop me from trying all the same." Sean looked at Alex to see that tears had begun a slow track down her face.

"I have lost a lot of people too Sean." Her voice was hoarse from lack of use and probably from crying as well. "I get that you want to protect me and that you're scared, I'm absolutely petrified of what _this_," She laid a hand on her still flat stomach, "means. The one thing that I don't understand is how you think I don't care." She looked up at him; her bright blue eyes wet with tears. Sean wanted more than anything to never be the cause of that look again.

"I know you care, of course I know that. It was just my own fears getting in the way of understanding what you were saying. I was just being a complete idiot earlier." Sean looked behind him and bit his lip. His actions made Alex confused.

"What did you do Sean? You look nervous." Alex asked.

"I…talked to Owen. He ah…he helped me bring things into perspective." Sean said.

"Okay…"Alex dragged the word out, still wondering why he was acting so strange.

"I….I told him about the baby too…"Sean mumbled looking at the floor.

"What?" Alex squeaked. "I haven't told anyone yet! We haven't even dealt with this yet, and you…. you tell _Owen_?"

"I was freaking out okay? And since I had just been a complete jackass I couldn't exactly talk to you. It's like I planned on telling, we've barely talked at all before, but he kept asking questions about why my hands were messed up …and I just kinda fell apart and it slipped out." Sean said looking a little scared of the seething woman before him.

"We can't trust Owen with this!" Alex started pacing the room.

"It's a little too late now….." Sean said, stating the obvious.

"You have to tell him it's a false alarm or something. We can't have anyone knowing that I'm …that I'm…no one can know." Alex said staring at him.

"He knows, so what? Why can't he know? I mean yeah he wouldn't have been my first choice to tell either but it's too late for that, so what's the big deal?" He couldn't understand her overreaction. Sure he trusted Owen about as far as he could throw him, but he knew that he would keep their secret for now.

"Because I'm not ready!" Alex shouted.

"Ready for what?"

"For this. To be a mom, to have a baby, any of it! I'm twenty-one years old Sean! I never thought it would happen like this. I don't know if I can do this." Alex broke down and collapsed onto the bed.

"Alex, do you want this baby?" Sean asked her as he sat down next to her.

"Sean I just said I don't know if I can-" Sean quickly cut her off.

"I didn't ask if you thought you could do this, I asked if you wanted the baby." Sean said taking hold of her hands. She looked away from his intense gaze and was silent for a moment. Then she spoke.

"Yes. More than anything I've wanted before." She said truthfully.

"Then it doesn't matter what you think you can do. You'll be a great mom Alex, I know it. Not because the time is right or because you know what to do, but because you already have so much love for a person that you never met. " He looked down at her as he spoke.

"Not to mention, I'll be there every step of the way." He added. This caused her to look up at him.

"You've said that before Sean, and then you left." She spoke softly. Sean grimaced.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I'm trying Alex, really I am. Fine, I won't promise I'll be here forever, because I don't know what the future holds, but I'm here now. All we have is the present, so that's what I'll give you." He said. She smiled, the first smile he had seen in hours. He had finally said the right thing.

"Okay. Same for me." Alex said squeezing Sean's hands with her own.

"We should probably tell Nikita soon though. She will probably be really mad that she wasn't the first to know and we can't ask Owen to act surprised because we all know how well that will go." Sean said.

"Yeah." Alex agreed with a small chuckle.

The both lied down on their bed and folded into each other. Sean moved his hand over Alex's stomach and began to slowly slide her shirt up. He then laid his large hand flat against her cool skin. Alex shifted slightly from the contact but didn't move away.

"When do you think you'll start to show?" Sean asked.

"I don't know." Alex replied.

"When will you start to feel it?"

"I don't know"

"When will we be able to find out if it's a boy or girl?"

"I don't know"

"Will your boobs get bigger?" That comment earned Sean a swift elbow to the gut. Alex turned around in his arms and looked up at him.

"I. Don't. Know." She said slowly, but still smirking at him.

"Well we should probably get some of those books or something so that we can find out what's going on." Sean suggested

"I think we should get a couch." Alex said. Sean looked down at her confused.

"A couch? Why?" He asked.

"Because I have a feeling you won't like sleeping on the floor all the times I'll kick you out of bed for be a jerk." She said with a glint in her eye.

"I would never. Scout's honor." He said looking slightly aghast.

"You were never a boy scout." Alex said smirking.

"That's what I keep trying to tell them, but for some reason no one believes me."

"Well once you tell them you knocked me up, they might."

"Wait why do I have everyone?" He said looking a little scared.

"It's your punishment for telling Owen before I got a chance to tell Nikita." Alex said.

"Damn. Michael is so going to kick my ass."

"He won't be the only one, but it's okay, I'll protect you." She said and she leaned up to kiss Sean on the lips.

"You better." He kissed her back and pulled her closer into his chest.


	8. Chapter 8

"Alex! Hey Woohoo! Yo Boy Scout! Hello? I know you guys are in there, so stop whatever it is you're doing and respond!"

Alex and Sean were abruptly woken to the sound of a voice in their room.

"Birkhoff?" Alex asked to the darkness still half asleep. Sean rubbed his eyes next to her as he sat up and turned on the light. There was no one in their room except for them.

"Finally! I've been saying your names for almost five minutes now." The voice responded.

"Why is your voice in our room?" Alex asked getting slightly annoyed.

"I wired all of Division so that we have a communication system throughout the whole bunker. It will save time in trying to get in touch with agents since our comms don't work underground. Or at least I thought it would. Jeeze, I thought you would have prepared yourself to wake up to like even the quiet sound of a child's whimper, especially now." Alex and Sean looked at each other questioning if the other had said anything. Then Sean asked what they both wanted to know.

"What do you mean 'especially now'?"

"Oh I don't know maybe because your lives are constantly threatened. Aren't Navy SEALs supposed to be light sleepers? I know Division agents are trained to be, but then again Alex was a pretty crappy agent so…"

After Sean and Alex both sighed from relief that Birkhoff didn't know anything Alex realized he had also insulted her.

"Hey! If I was such a bad agent how come I was able to infiltrate Division for six months without you having the slightest clue?" Alex asked.

"Because believe it or not my whole life doesn't revolve around Division. I had my mind on other things. Now stop cuddling and get out of those tank tops and yoga pants, we need you two in operations." His rather accurate description of their current actions and attire had Alex wondering.

"Birkhoff, are their cameras attached to your new sound system?" She asked warily, not knowing what he could have heard, or even worse _seen_, over the last few weeks.

"No. Gross princess! I don't need you two for porn, that comes free on the internet, and what's not free is easily accessible to me anyway-Ouch! I was just kidding Sonya. That's my mouse arm!"

Sean and Alex smirked at each other from what they were hearing. Sonya was good for Birkhoff, she really helped keep him in line in a way any lesser women never would have been able too.

"Alright, we'll be up in a minute." Sean told the ceiling.

"Over and out." Birkhoff said, and his voice was followed by a quick click.

Alex and Sean dressed quickly and headed up to Operations having no idea what was in store for them when they got there.

As they approached the upper level they saw usual crew gathered, already waiting for the last two members to arrive.

"So what's up?" Alex asked as she and Sean walked up the steps.

"It seems like you were partially wrong Alex. Amanda isn't after just me, she's after you too." Nikita said giving Alex a strange look. She looked sad and yet also suspicious.

"What do you mean?" Alex asked and Sean's hand found its way onto her waist, his own worry apparent.

Nikita nodded to Birkhoff and he pulled up a live stream video from one of the interrogation rooms within Division. On the screen was a woman with long black hair and a clean face. She was slightly bruised but looked healthy for the most part. Despite her changed appearance, Alex recognized her immediately.

"Irina?" She asked and took a step closer to the screen to get a closer look.

"She breached the perimeter about a half hour ago. She kept saying that you were going to kill her but she had to see you. Weren't you guys friends? Why does she think you're going to hurt her?" Birkhoff asked.

"Because the last time I saw her, I told her I would kill her if I ever saw her again. She knew I was a Udinov and at the time the rest of the world didn't. Why does she want to see me?" Alex asked.

"She wouldn't say, she just kept saying she was sorry." Michael said.

"She looks clean. I barely recognized her." Alex observed not moving her eyes from the woman on the screen.

"She is. We had medical do a full examination before we locked her up. Had to make sure she wasn't another present from Amanda." Birkhoff said. Alex nodded and began to walk away.

"Hey where are you going?" Sean called after her.

"She said she had to tell me something. I'm going to find out what that something is."

Alex paused at the door to the room that Irina was in. She didn't know the woman on the other side of the door, not anymore. They had both come over on the same container ship, but they had also both been high most of the time. The point that she had gotten to really know Irena was when they were made to share a bunk once they got to New York. Vlad's business had just began at that time and he only had around twenty girls but only enough room to properly store around ten, so everyone had a bunkmate.

Alex had been quiet at first. She had been wary of this dirty dark eyed stranger who had seemed so different from herself. However, after they both cried themselves to sleep after the first few nights of being the entertainment for Vlad's 'visitors', they became closer. They would talk about their lives before and their dreams for the future. After the first few months, Vlad's business began picking up and so he got in a new shipment of new girls. Irina and Alex, or Sasha as she had been known as then, also got a new roommate at that time.

Zoya was older than the other two girls, but she was also much more addicted to heroin too. The drugs had complete control of her life. Despite her addiction, she did manage to become friends with Irena and Sasha. The three of them were inseparable. They held each other after a client was extra rough or when the nightmares wouldn't let them sleep. They made each other laugh and smile at times that it shouldn't have been possible to be happy.

Vlad noticed their growing friendship and found it threatening. If one of the girls got the wrong idea, they could start trouble. So he upped the doses that Zoya got and her addiction wouldn't let her say no. One night, after an especially strong dose, Zoya was so far gone that she thought she could just fly away from her awful life. So she climbed up to the roof and tried to fly.

After Zoya's death, the other two girls were just empty shells of themselves. Their friend was gone and the darkness of their life took over. A few weeks after Zoya's death, Alex started her plan to escape. She had to get out, or she too would end up killing herself. The only difference would be that she wouldn't even need to be high to end it. So she stopped taking the heroin, slowly weaning herself off of it. She had to be careful and had to take it slow or else Vlad would notice something was up. It took weeks, but she was finally clear headed enough that she was sure she could get out. She couldn't risk taking Irina with her though, but that didn't mean she would leave her without an escape hatch. She took the heroin that she had not been taking and used it to knock out the mercenaries Vlad hired to keep watch on the girls. She then left her Papa's watch and a note for Irena explaining her plan.

That was the last time she had seen Irina until two years ago.

The woman before her now was a stranger to all the past versions of Irena that Alex had ever known. Alex stepped into the room and closed the door behind her.

"Sasha…I mean Alexandra, it's good to see you again." Irina spoke in a thick accent that did nothing to cover the fear in her voice.

"You don't have to be afraid Irina, but you have to tell me why you came here." Alex spoke as she sat down in the cold metal chair.

"A woman, she found me and said she would pay me fifty thousand dollars if I found you and tried to be your friend again. She said once you trusted me I was to contact her and she would give me more directions from there. She said she was your friend and that the people around you could not be trusted; that I had to save you by helping her get you back." Irina spoke slowly.

"Why are you telling me this? I'm sure you could have used the money." Alex asked. She wanted to believe her old friend had good intentions at heart, but she was unsure.

"You trusted me once with a secret, and I betrayed you. I did not want to do that again. I knew that woman was not to be trusted…there was a …a darkness in her."

Alex looked closely at Irina. She looked healthy, but she was still broken. She needed her old friend back, just as much as Alex needed her.

"It's good to be able to trust you again Irina. Thank you for coming here. You know you can never leave though, it would be a death sentence." Alex said.

"It's alright, I have nothing to go back to anyhow."

"The woman who contacted you, her name is Amanda. Do you have any idea where she is now?"

"After I last saw you I learned to open my eyes. Her bodyguards were not very quiet. They seemed very excited about going to Belize for some reason. I don't know anything for sure but I think she may be there."

"Thank you." Alex said "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too Sasha."

Back in Operations everyone stood around anxiously awaiting Alex's return. She walked up to them and put her hands on her hips.

"You all were watching I take it." She said as she looked at the people before her. They all looked like nervous children whose hands had been caught in the cookie jar. She smiled and shook her head.

"So Belize." She said.

"Belize." Ryan said. "I know you and Nikita planned on drawing Amanda in, but if we have an idea of where she is at , shouldn't we try and get the drop on her while we have the chance? We could have the four of you down there in around three hours. It could be the break we've been looking for."

"We should take this chance," Alex started, "but I won't be going on this mission. Or any missions for that matter. At least for a while." Everyone looked at her confused. Sean too was a little surprised, but after he got over the initial shock he smiled at her.

"Alex I know the last mission didn't go well, but that doesn't mean it's a reason to stop going into the field." Nikita said.

"No it's not." Alex took a deep breath and then spoke. "But being pregnant is." Those previously confused faces transformed into absolute shock.

"Pregnant? As in….wow. I did not see that one coming." Birkhoff was the first to get over the initial surprise.

"Sean I'm assuming you're to blame for this." Michael said as he took a menacing step toward the SEAL.

"Michael it's not Sean's fault." Alex defended, stepping between the two men.

"Yeah Mikey it takes two tango…most of the time." Birkhoff chipped in, earning himself a flick on the ear from Sonya.

"Nikita?" Alex looked at her mentor questioningly. Her eerie silence was making Alex very nervous.

Nikita's face was blank, but she then cracked a small smile and shook her head.

"You always manage to surprise me." She said and then she took a step forward and pulled Alex into a hug. "Congratulations. You deserve to be happy." She whispered into Alex's ear.

Alex smiled, happy to have Nikita's support and understanding.

"Congratulations to the both of you." Ryan added.

"You screw this up and I'll-"Michael started to say.

"And you'll kick my ass, yeah I know. But really I'm more scared of what Alex will do to me." Sean cut Michael off.

"Ah, having your man afraid of you, a good sign of in relationship. I wish you both the best." Sonya said.

"Alright well then, let's take the rest of the day off to celebrate." Ryan said clapping his hands together.

"But I thought this was our one chance? Don't you want to start planning our mission to Belize?" Alex asked confused at Ryan's reaction. Maybe she was wrong about him.

"When a member of our team has something to celebrate, we all should join in. Amanda will still be out there tomorrow. Or if we're lucky she'll just disappear. Either way, I have no idea what team I'm sending down there with you out of commission so let's just stop all this cat and mouse stuff for one day and enjoy life." Ryan said.

"Here, here." Sean added in.

They all began to leave operations but as Alex began to leave, Sean grabbed her arm and pulled her gently back.

"See that wasn't so bad." He said.

"Yeah, for now. Just wait until Nikita finds out that you told Owen first." She whispered back. Sean grimaced.

"Do we have to tell her that?" He squinted at her.

"Maybe not, we'll just have to see if you behave." She smirked back at him.

"I'll be good. I promise."

"Excellent." Alex laughed and the both exited Operations behind the others.

It was a good day to alive.


	9. Chapter 9

"You're a real idiot some times." Alex said as she stood in front of Sean with his beaten hands in her own.

"I know." He replied. He didn't regret the damage he had done to his knuckles; the pain it had caused didn't seem like a balanced enough punishment for what he had accused Alex of two days ago.

"Seriously though, you need to be careful. You're life hangs in the balance enough as it is without you hurting yourself. I forgive you, now it's your turn to forgive yourself."

"I know." He said pulling her close as she wrapped the gauze tightly around his hands.

"Please, be careful out there." Alex said moving into his embrace. He held her close and tucked her head under his chin.

"I will. I'll be back before you know it." He said.

"I'll try and keep myself busy while you're away."

"What are you going to do?" Sean asked, curious.

"I think I'm going to train Irina." Alex said. Sean looked at her confused.

"Train her for what?"

"To be my temporary replacement in the field. She's stuck here, for the time being, and you know just how boring it can get. It will give her something to do. A goal to try and achieve. Not to mention, I'll go crazy if I stay in operations the whole time, tracking you in Belize."

Sean nodded in understanding. Alex was always the one to be out there doing something. Even when she was injured she always needed to be actively involved. Sitting her behind a computer for the next seven months or so would just be asking for trouble.

Sean looked down at the watch on Alex's wrist; it was time to go. He stood up and kissed her longingly.

"I'll give a call once we get set up down there." He said.

"Be careful. I lo-….I'll miss you." She said as he went to leave. He nodded and smiled.

"I love you too." He said before he went out the door.

One week. That's how long the mission was supposed to take. One week. One hundred sixty-eight hours. Ten thousand eighty minutes. Six hundred four thousand eight hundred seconds, six hundred four thousand seven hundred ninety- nine, six hundred four thousand seven hundred ninety- eight….No. She couldn't do that to herself; she couldn't be the girl that sat around and waited for her man to come back. She had a job of her own to do.

Alex walked down the hall to the room where Irena was staying and knocked on the door.

"Come in!" A call came from the within the room, and Alex opened the door and stepped in.

The sight before her was a little shocking. There was Irina, free of almost all of her makeup, sitting in an old Division recruit uniform. She was just wearing the white tank top and blue cargo pants but it was still so strange.

"Do I look alright? I didn't have any clothes and these were just lying in the dresser." She explained. Alex shook her head to clear her mind and smiled.

"Of course you look great. Listen, I have an idea. I was thinking that I would train you here, since you can't go out without Amanda hunting you down. What do you think?" Alex asked.

"Train me? For what?" Irina asked.

"Well, I was thinking that you could be my replacement in the field for a little while." Alex said.

"Replacement? Why would you need a replacement?" Irena asked.

"Because I'm pregnant and it's not exactly safe to be out in the open in my condition." Alex admitted. In truth she wanted nothing more than to be in Belize with everyone else, but Sean would be at a greater risk if she was there. He would be distracted and always focused on her safety that he would forget his own. Her staying back at Division was the only way that she knew to keep him as safe as possible.

"Pregnant? Wow….that's ….Congratulations?" Irina was not sure how she was supposed to act. In her previous line of work, being pregnant meant you made a mistake. Girls would either discover their condition early and take care of it, or if they were less lucky, they would only find out when it was too late and they likely had a miscarriage due to their lifestyle. Pregnancy had not been good news for too many years for Irena to be happy about her friend's condition, but that didn't mean she wouldn't try.

"Yes, thank you. It was unexpected, but me and Sean, my boyfriend, are excited about the challenge." Alex said, and for once she actually believed that her and Sean were on the same page and everything was going to be alright.

Irina smiled.

"You have no reason to worry; you'll be a natural. You were always taking care of me back when…You'll make a great mother Alexandra." She said. Her words caused Alex to smile. Sean kept telling her that, but it was nice to hear it from someone else for a change.

"So what will you train me in first? The um…karate…or shooting? Or will I learn to be some super hacker like that man, Birkhoff was it?" Irena asked.

"Actually I think we'll start with the accent." Alex said.

"Accent what is wrong with my accent?"

"You have one for starters. That's one good way to get yourself noticed. As an agent you want to do everything in your power to be forgotten. If someone is able to remember you it can cause a lot of problems down the road."

"Alright then let's begin.

It was almost five hours later that Birkhoff called Alex up to Operations. The others had set up shop and Sean was calling just like he said he would.

Alex walked toward the terminal Birkhoff was at, with Irina following her closely.

"Hey princess, think it's a good idea to have your "friend" here." Birkhoff whispered even going so far as to use his fingers to make quotes.

"She can hear Birkhoff, and it's fine. In fact now would be a perfect time for you to maybe teach her some of the basics of hacking." Alex raising her eyebrows to express her annoyance.

"Fine, fine come here and I'll show you how it's done." Birkhoff said wheeling to the next terminal shooing away its current occupant. Irena followed, not quite sure she wanted to leave Alex's side.

Alex turned her attention to the screen in front of her and accepted the incoming video feed. Immediately Sean's face. He smiled as soon as he saw her.

"Hey how's it going down there?" Alex asked.

"It's hot! I mean I've been to Afghanistan and Iraq, but it's just so humid here. I feel like I'm being suffocated with moisture." He said and then turned to swat some insect away.

"How are the others?"

"I think I'm prepared for the teenage years of our child's life honestly. I mean I get that this was a four person op and Michael was needed, but honestly I feel like I'm on some cable drama. Sure Michael can fight now with his hand in control, but it's getting him not to fight with Owen that's really the problem." Sean said looking slightly annoyed.

"Hey, that was you not too long ago." Alex smiled. Sean only scoffed.

"He's got nothing on me…So how are things?" Sean asked.

"It's only been five hours Sean. Nothing has changed since you left." Alex said. But let her eyes and hand drift toward her stomach.

"Okay well let me- Wait what was that?" The camera on Sean's end shook and he looked around vigorously.

"Sean what's going on? Sean?" Alex yelled at the screen getting nervous from his actions.

"Listen I'll have to call you back. Don't worry, I love you and I'll see you soon." The screen went black and Alex started freaking out.

"Birkhoff! Something happened in Belize!" Birkhoff responded immediately and wheeled back to his terminal and began furiously typing.

"Michael? Nikki? Owen? Sean? Anyone's comms working?" He spoke into his headset hoping to hear a response but all he got was static.

All the sudden every screen in operations went black. Then they lit back up with Amanda's gleeful face on them.

"Hello Division, it's good to see you again. I hope everyone is well…"Amanda spoke from the screen.

"Birkhoff are you tracing this?" Ryan asked running in from his office.

"Trace it with what? If you haven't noticed she has complete control of my system. How the hell did she…."He trailed off and looked at the woman standing next to him.

"What the hell did you do?" He yelled as he got up from his chair.

"I don't…I don't know what you're talking about." Irina said as she shirked back from a very angry Birkhoff.

"Irina, please, tell me the truth, did you have anything to do with what is happening right now?" Alex begged. She had to know if she had been fooled by her desire to trust her old friend.

"Sasha I swear I had nothing to do with this!" She yelled. Alex stared at her intently, trying to see if she could detect anything that would tell her if Irena was lying. She came up with nothing, Irina looked truly terrified.

"Okay. Birkhoff try do something, please." Alex said as she looked back at the screen.

"….trust in Nikita, but as you can all see, she won't always be here to protect you. In fact, she failed to mention how those in charge of you are currently in Belize trying to take me down yet gain. But don't worry I'm sure your former CIA analyst and one handed leader will save you." The screen went black again and Birkhoff once again got control back over his system.

"Well we at least know that was pre-recorded, or she doesn't know Michael is down there yet. Either way she's still a little behind us and that gives us an edge. Birkhoff I need you and Sonya to keep trying to get in touch with our team." Ryan said.

"Will do. Hey Sonya can you get started on that? Alex follow me for a second." Birkhoff said and led her away.

Once the two were farther away from the others Birkhoff put his hands on Alex's shoulders.

"Listen I know you're scared. We all are. But I need you to go to your room and pack your things. You and Irina are going to go to a safe house that no one other than myself and Nikita know about."

Alex was shaken out of her state of shock by his words.

"What, you're making me leave? Now? I have to know if Sean…if Sean is alright! I can't leave now!" Alex yelled.

"Nikita made me promise that if anything happened I'd get you to safety. It looks like Amanda has some way into the system here, so you're not safe here anymore. We'll let you know as soon as we know anything and we can give you a laptop that is a close of mine so you will always know what is going on." He said trying to convince Alex of the plan.

After they had found out about Alex's condition, Nikita immediately set forth a backup plan. So few people were trusted within Division, so she had to keep the knowledge of the safe house to a minimum. Only her and Birkhoff could know. Michael would have been let in too, but since he was going into the field it didn't matter if he knew or not. Birkhoff would be the only one back at Division able to protect Alex should things go south.

Alex took in a deep breath and tried to relax. Stress wasn't good and freaking out wouldn't help anyone. She nodded.

"Alright, but once Nikita comes back we're going to have a serious talk about walking on egg shells around me just because I'm pregnant." She said still annoyed at what her so called friends had done behind her back.

"Thank you." He said and walked back to his computer.

Alex sighed and headed back to her room. She was going to get annoyed with people treating her like she was useless real soon. However, her annoyance could not compete with her worry about the team in Belize. She had no way of knowing if they were alright or if…No. They had to be alright. She felt in her gut that Sean was fine. For now. He couldn't be hurt. He just couldn't.

More than anything she regretted not telling him how much she loved him before he left.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:I realized I've been spelling Irina's name wrong so I've gone back and corrected that. Also any other typos with likely stay as I am typing these so quickly and am often over tired when I publish. Besides that please keep the reviews coming I love any and all feedback. I'm also pumped for the new episode tomorrow! Enjoy!**

One week. That's how long the mission in Belize was supposed to take. It had been two. Two weeks Alex and Irina had been in isolation in the safe house.

"I think I'm going to go get some groceries." Alex looked up at her from her spot on the bathroom floor.

"Your accent. It's almost gone." Alex said. She was exhausted. The simple sentence seemed to take so much energy out of her and she turned to rest her head on the cool porcelain of the toilet.

"You spend your days throwing up; I spend mine watching American television." She shrugged. "I'll be back in a few hours. Is there anything that you want?" Irina asked.

"Besides all my friends and family to be back from the jungles of Belize?" Alex asked rolling her head to look up at Irina. Her comment made Irina stay silent and look away at the floor. Alex knew she couldn't help with that; even Birkhoff couldn't seem to get an idea of where the others were. She immediately felt guilty. "I'm sorry. I'm fine Irina, I'll see you soon." Alex said. Irina nodded and left the room.

The morning sickness had come with a vengeance six days ago. It was as if it had been building up the last two months and all the sudden released its contents with a fury. Alex could barely keep any liquids down, let alone solid food. She was constantly starving, but always too nauseated to even consider trying to eat. She also felt as if her emotions were completely out of control. Poor Irina had to deal with Alex bitching one moment and then having a complete mental breakdown the next. Alex's biggest issue though, was her jeans. They were starting to feel tight. At a time when she already felt like crap she now knew she was also getting fat. This was all Sean's fault.

Sean. Alex would give anything to just hear his voice, to know that he was alright, to know he was…._alive_.

Alex missed everyone terribly, but going through this without Sean by her side, it felt worse than getting shot.

After another fifteen minutes of lying on the floor Alex decided she was going to try and do something today. For the past fourteen days she had spent nearly all of that time sleeping, tracking satellite images of Belize, or most recently, vomiting. Not anymore. She had to something…anything to get her mind off the chaos that was her life.

Alex pushed herself up from the floor quickly grabbing the edge of the sink as all the blood rushed to her head. Uhhg. The last time she felt this awful was when Nikita was helping her get clean. Her whole body ached.

But she couldn't focus on that right now.

Alex reached the window and looked out. Thank God for air conditioning. The thermometer on the front porch read eighty-six degrees and it was only mid-morning. The safe house Birkhoff had was in Florida of all places. Division got position of the house after a mission concerning drug cartel members and dirty cops back in '03. Everyone who had knowledge of that mission were long gone and since Birkhoff was the only one who knew what property Division owned, they figured that this place was the best fit to keep Alex safe. It was a simple house, the type you would see being shipped in halves on the highway, but the lost was what was incredible. It was nine acres of land that held a beach and swamp all within its boundaries. It wasn't nearly as much land as her family had owned in Russia, but it was still rather impressive.

Isolation. That and being able to see anyone coming for miles was where Nikita and Birkhoff saw value though.

Alex finally felt well enough to try and eat something. She went over to the fridge and looked in. No wonder Irina went grocery shopping. With the exception of an almost expired bottle of mustard there was nothing in the fridge. Giving up on that short lived idea Alex plopped herself down on the couch and fell asleep the moment her head hit its soft cushions.

Alex woke with a start. The sun was shining brightly through the west facing window and all else was silent. Alex started to wonder what had woken when she heard it again. A quiet beeping. She couldn't place the sound until all the sudden it clicked. The perimeter! Someone had breached the perimeter!

Alex jumped up from the couch, trying her best to ignore the head rush and the sudden urge to throw up and ran into the office. She grabbed her gun from the desk and turned on the security system cameras. Then she saw what had tuned on the alarm. It was Irina, but she wasn't alone.

Behind her was a limping Owen leaning on a battered Nikita.

Alex rushed out to the door and opened in to let her friends inside.

"Owen, Nikita, what happened? Is Michael with you? Where's Sean?" She asked quickly. Nikita walked past her and helped Owen into the nearest chair and then looked up at Alex with a somber face.

"Alex I…"She started but then stopped. Owen then started hacking and pulled back his hand only to reveal it was covered in blood.

"She has them." He spit out, once he got control of his lungs. "Amanda. She has Michael and Sean." Nikita looked at the floor her own distress evident.

Alex just collapsed on the floor.

"How? How did she get them? What happened after the signal was lost? Where have you two been?" Alex asked. She had to understand how this all had happened. Sean was captured.

"A helicopter cut off the signal. It was Amanda's new lackey and her new group of mercenaries. The last girl from MI6 grew up in Belize and she is a member of a very prominent cartel. That was Amanda's new source of power. The cartels have a lot of resources and don't have to deal with all the red tape that Division or Gogol did. They knew our location the second we hit ground. Michael killed the MI6 agent in the fight but there were just so many people. Owen and I were knocked out and when we woke up Sean and Michael were gone." Nikita explained.

"How did you guys get here?" Alex was happy that Nikita and Owen were alright, but she was also no closer to finding Sean.

"Stole a boat." Owen grunted as he tried to stand.

"What happened to your face?" Irina asked from the kitchen as she started putting the groceries she had bought away.

"What happened to your voice? I thought you were Russian." Owen asked.

"Sa- Alexandra and I have been working on my accent." Irina explained ignoring Owen's sarcastic tone.

"Owen didn't check to see if the boat we were borrowing was occupied first." Nikita said giving him a glare.

"Don't blame me. We spent nearly ten days trying it your way. No matter what we couldn't get in contact with Birkhoff and we had no legitimate papers to get back into the U.S." Owen responded.

"So you haven't seen Sean or Michael since the…" Alex trailed off.

"No." Nikita said.

"So you have no way of knowing if they're…" Alex didn't even want to finish that sentence.

"No." Nikita shook her head. Her own despair of missing Michael evident in her body language as she twisted her engagement ring around her finger nervously.

"I bought you this Alex. The lady at the store said it might help. Don't worry there is no caffeine." Irina held up a box of tea. She was trying to breach the uncomfortable silence that had overtaken the room.

"Help with what?" Owen asked.

"Morning sickness. It decided that now was a perfect time to make me feel even more like crap." Alex said looking at the box in Irina's hand, examining it. Mint, interesting.

Owen nodded.

"So who wants the couch?" Irina asked as she went to prepare some of the tea. "Because I'm not giving up my view and there is only one more bedroom."

"I'll take it." Both Owen and Nikita offered neither too looking pleased about it though.

"No, I'll take it." Alex said firmly.

"Alex, no, you're-"Nikita started but Alex cut her off.

"Pregnant. Believe me I'm well aware. Don't worry I spend more time on the bathroom floor than I do in the bed. You're both injured. I can take the couch. But know that tomorrow when you're all rested , we're going to have a serious discussion about this place and why you thought it was okay to ship me off in the middle of everything." She said.

Nikita and Owen nodded with acceptance and shuffled off to their respective rooms. They were both exhausted from the last couple of weeks so they planned to sleep as long as possible even though it was only the early afternoon.

"I also bough you this. So strange, a grocery store that also book." Irina said shrugging her shoulder at this strange American fad and walked away as well.

Alex looked at the book in her hand. _What to Expect When You're Expecting_, _complete with week by week updates on what is happening in your body!_ Alex smiled at the gift and opened it up to start reading.

"_At week ten….."_


	11. Chapter 11

One week. That's how long the mission was supposed to take and then he would have Alex back in his arms again. One week. It had been two.

"Michael….Michael can you hear me?" Sean called out, or he tried to call out. His throat was dry and it ached from the strain he had just put on it. Sean was probably only five feet away from Michael but his soft voice seemed to still be lost in that limited space.

His hands were tied above his head with thick ropes that hung from a metal chain that ran across the ceiling of the room. His feet were tied in a similar fashion. Dried blood covered the left side of his face from a head wound he had received a few days back….or was it weeks. It felt like it had been months since his last video chat with Alex. Ever since he woke up after being knocked unconscious at the camp he would just try and survive the next few moments until he would once again lose consciousness. Sean couldn't be sure if it was his wounded body or the lack of food he had had to eat that was to blame, but either way he felt exhausted.

"Yeah, I hear you." Michael responded. He wasn't in any better shape than Sean.

Both men were naked from the waist up and had various bruises on their torso and head. Sean's pants were more or less intact, but Michael's jeans were shredded about halfway up his calf. Neither had their shoes on. Their beaten bodies were full of all sorts of aches and pains. Their arms felt numb and their heads heavy. They also had no idea where they were. It had to still be in Belize or somewhere close to the equator because the heat was still unbearable. It was hard to tell because they had spent so much time unconscious. All Sean remembered before this room was being in what felt like a cargo container with its hot metal all around, but besides that he couldn't recall much of anything that might tell him their current location. All he knew was that everyday men who looked like they could be locales of Belize would come in and give them water; not enough to fully quench their thirst but enough to make sure they would survive, and then return a few hours later to harshly wake them up and shove gritty gruel down their throats.

"They changed the ropes again." Sean said as he tested the strength of what appeared to be another new set of knots. Every waking moment, Sean would try and get loose the knots holding his wrists but then once he fell asleep from pure exhaustion he would wake up to only find even tighter and more complex knots to replace the ones he had been working on.

"I noticed that too. You'd think they would just use chains by now. Maybe one day they'll forget and we'll actually get out of here." Michael responded.

"One could only hope." Sean said.

"So…."Michael started.

"So?" Sean questioned. Sean had only known the guy a few months and when he wasn't trying to kill him or glaring at him, Michael seemed like a decent enough guy. Either way he never pegged him for being chatty.

"You're going to be a father for the first time. How's that feel?" Michael asked and tried to look Sean in the eye. After a few solid attempts of trying to raise his head, only to fail miserably, he gave up and continued to stare at the floor.

"When I first found out about Alex being pregnant, sure I was scared but more than anything…I was ecstatic." Sean said, but his toned sounded anything like the emotion he was describing.

"And now?" Michael asked.

"I've had so much time to think these last few days. I've been going over every logical scenario in my head as to how this will all turn out and….Well, I heard about what happened to your family. If anything like that happened to Alex I…..I honestly have no idea what I would do." Sean's comments made Michael grimace in a much darker way than his usual expression.

"I tried kill myself….after Elizabeth and Haley…"Michael admitted. Sean was shocked. Michael had always seemed so put together in all the time Sean had known him; the thought that he would consider suicide...

"What stopped you?"

"Percy gave me a mission. I followed the path of revenge only to find out it was all a lie in the end." Sean nodded; Alex had told him about how Kasim was Division from the start.

"And when I found out about Max, it was like I had a second chance. He was even the same age Haley had been."

"So why aren't you there now? Why go back to Division?"

"Why did you go back?" That answer was simple. Alex. These two men who sacrifice anything for the women they loved, even going into the pit of hell.

"You ever consider trying with Nikita? Having a kid." Sean asked. That actually brought a smile to Michael's face.

"Of course. But I'm a traditionalist; I think we should get married first. That way we have at least one normal part of our lives if we ever decide to bring a child into the world." Michael said.

"You know I have a ring. I thought about asking her probably a dozen times. But now…it seems like she would always suspect I'm just doing it for the baby. Hell, now I don't know if I'll even get the chance to ask at all." Sean said as he looked around at his current situation.

"No. You'll have your chance. We'll get out of here." Michael said with a new found determination. "How good are your full body crunches with your arms like that?" Michael asked.

"It will hurt like a bitch but I think I could do one why?"

"I have a knife strapped to my calf. My legs have been so numb I almost forgot about it. Just lift my pant leg up with your food, wiggle the knife out and then lift it up to your hands. Once you cut yourself free you can help me.

"It's that easy huh? Just some simple gymnastics with a likely broken rib or two and then we're all set. Yeah no problem." Sean said sarcastically.

"Hey do you want to get out of here or what?" Michael said losing his patience.

"Fine, fine." Sean said and slowly shimmied himself closer to Michael. To his credit he only made a few grunts to even hint that the movement was causing him pain.

Once he got close enough he stiffened his arms and lifted his combined legs toward Michael's and move the shredded remains out of the way as his toes grasped the hilt of the knife and managed to get it out of its sheath….only to drop it on the floor with a soft clatter as all his strength drained from his body.

"You're almost there Sean just keep going." Michael said in support.

"You sure you can't just disconnect you're robot hand and get us both out of here?" San asked

"It's not just plugged in. It's surgically implanted." Michael said. He hated ever having to talk about what he still viewed as a handicap.

Sean grunted in reply and took in as much air as his burning lungs could and one he finally felt like he had regained control he stretched for the knife again with his body until he had it firmly between it two feet at just the right angle. Now for the fun part.

Sean took in a deep breath and hoisted his legs up to his hands and quickly grasped the knife in his hands and let his body sink in exhaustion.

"I got it." Sean sighed. He then began furiously cutting at the ropes that bound his hands. It was probably five minutes later that the final strand snapped and he collapsed to the floor. Once he landed he laid his back against the cool cement of the room and sighed.

"Hey don't fall asleep on me now. You're feet are still tied and I'm still completely contained." Michael said even though he understood Sean's desires at that moment more than anyone.

Sean sat up and quickly cut the ropes from his ankles and then got to work on Michael's. Just as he stood up to start on Michael's wrists, he heard it. Footsteps coming down the hall.

"Sean." Michael said. He heard them too.

"I know." He said as he began to furiously cut at the ropes as fast as he possibly could.

"Sean just leave me." Michael began to insist as the sound got closer and closer.

"If you think for one second I'm going to do that, you have no idea who I am." Sean growled as he continued to cut.

Just as Sean was almost done, the door opened.

Sean turned around to see two very shocked guards and quickly used their surprise to his advantage. He knocked one out with his fist and was then overtaken by the other. Luckily he had cut through enough of the rope that Michael was able to force his hands out and quickly knocked the second guard out.

"Thanks man." Sean said massaging his throat where the guard had been strangling him.

"No, thank you. No let's get out of here before it's too-." Michael started to say, but was cut off by the sound of an alarm blazing throughout the compound. "-late. Dammit. We need to go now!" Michael yelled pulling Sean up from the ground and they both began running, ignoring the pain from within their bodies.

They ran for what seemed like hours, never once risking a glance behind them. Soon enough, and yet it still felt like fat too long of a time later, they reached the bank of a river.

The both bent to their knees gasping for breath.

"I am never…. going to complain….. about the winter in New Jersey ever again. What I wouldn't give to be back there right now." Sean said while still catching his breath.

"I'd give my right hand…oh wait." Michael said with a small smile. Sean laughed, but that only led to a coughing fit.

"Come on man. Let's go home." Michael said patting Sean on the back as he stood up. Sean nodded and followed him as he walked along the bank of the river.

"Hey man before we get back though, we have to stop at a furniture store." Sean said.

"What?" Michael asked, stopping in his tracks to look at Sean. A department store Michael would understand as they were both half naked and in desperate need of shoes, but a furniture store?

"Yeah. I have to buy a couch." Sean said.

Michael waited for an explanation but it never came. Sean just kept walking on.


	12. Chapter 12

"If you ever want to go out into the field you're going to have to be faster than that." Alex said looking disappointedly at the stopwatch in her hand. Irina was before her, bent over and breathing hard.

"What was my time?" Irina asked once she gained back her breath.

"Ten forty-six." Alex said as she sat down on the bench and Irina followed her.

"That's two whole minutes less than last time! How am I not improving?" Irina asked.

"I never said you weren't, I just said it wasn't good _enough_." Alex responded harshly.

"You know just because you're upset that boyfriend is still missing doesn't mean you have to be a bitch." Irina said and then she stalked off.

Alex sighed. It had been two more weeks and there had still been no word about Sean. Birkhoff guaranteed her she would be the first to know the second they found out anything. Alex felt bad for taking her frustration out on Irina; she didn't deserve that.

"Hey where'd your friend go? I thought you guys were running the course." Owen asked as he walked up. He had a water bottle in his hand and gym shorts on.

The course he was talking about was an obstacle course he himself had built to help Alex train Irina. He said that due to Alex's condition, it wasn't exactly safe for them to participate in hand to hand combat, and just running wasn't going to help build all the muscles Irina would need to depend on in the future. Alex was pretty sure Owen had other intentions for building the course.

"Why? You want to join in?" Alex asked.

"I was just wondering." He said and sat down next to Alex.

"You know, no news is good news." Owen said after a few minutes of silence.

"No, it's really not." Alex said back.

"Yeah I guess not. You're holding up better than I would have expected though."

"What, you thought I would have started using again? I'm fine and I'm stronger than you think." Alex said getting irritated with Owen's company.

"Oh you're plenty strong, there's no doubt about that. And no, I never thought you'd start using again. I just expected Nikita to be the one comforting you, not the other way around that's all. I had always thought she was the strongest person I would ever meet. I guess I was wrong." Owen said.

Alex was surprised by it too, Nikita's emotional breakdown after so long without Michael. The first few nights after Owen and Nikita arrived; the whole house would be continuously awoken to the sounds of Nikita screaming in her sleep. Nikita's dreams were plagued by visions of Michael's death and it was tearing her apart. After the sixth night, Alex started staying with her, soothing her as she slept. Not too long after that, Nikita's nightmares seemed to stop.

Alex still stayed in the armchair in Nikita's room, it was more comfortable than the couch and it wasn't like she was getting much sleep herself anyway. Alex could barely even close her eyes without picturing Sean dead. But she hid her pain from the others as best as she could; she couldn't let them see one more weakness since they all already thought she was so fragile.

"All of us deal with this situation differently. Nikita is doing much better now." Alex said.

"I guess. Well it looks like it's about to start raining, we should probably get inside." Owen said and started walking towards the house.

Alex followed in silence.

Alex knocked gently on Irina's bedroom door. Irina opened it soon after with a towel to her hair, ringing it out.

"Come to degrade me again? I'm sorry about what I said, but you have no right to-" Irina started.

"No I don't, and I'm sorry. I guess I'm not dealing with this situation as well as I should be." Alex said.

"No it's fine. I forgive you, but I think we should do a different form of training tomorrow." Irina suggested. Alex closed the door and sat down on the bed.

"Really? Because I'm pretty sure Owen is just dying to run that course with you." Alex said giving Irina a knowing smirk. Irina scoffed.

"That man….he…what is it you say? Drives me up a wall." Irina said.

"That's how it started with me and Sean, you know."

"Well I am never going to-" Her refutes were cut short by the sound of Alex's cell phone ringing.

"It's Birkhoff." Alex said her hand shaking a bit. His last communication had been when Alex had called to let him know that Owen and Nikita had shown up. He said he wouldn't call back unless he found something about Sean or Michael.

"Well answer it." Irina said sitting down on the bed next to Alex. Alex clicked the talk button and tentatively put the phone to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Alex." It wasn't Birkhoff's voice on the other end.

"Sean?" Alex breathed out. Her heart was racing.

"It's me. I'm alright. I'm back at Division. Where are you?" Sean said on the other end.

"You're alright." Alex repeated back. She was still stunned to hear his voice.

"I'm completely fine. It helps a lot to hear your voice though." Sean said.

"I need to see you." Alex said.

The flight back to New Jersey had been less than three hours, but it felt like an eternity as Alex practically ran from the elevator into operations.

Then she stopped. There he was, alive, right before her eyes. It was Sean's turn to run.

He scooped her up into his arms and hung on for dear life.

"I missed you." He whispered into her ear.

"I missed you too. I love you." Alex whispered back. Sean put her down and stared at her.

"I know I don't stay it enough. I love you so much Sean, I need you to know that." She said, staring at him intently as if he would disappear the moment she blinked.

"I know you love me. You don't have to say the words for me to know that. I see it all the time. In the way that you look at me, talk to me, act around me. I know." He said, pulling her against him again.

"We really need to get a bigger bed." Sean said as he held Alex in his arms as they both lied on their sides.

"Are you implying something?" Alex said as she shifted her head to look up at him.

"Yes. I'm implying that I'm tired of falling in between these two recruit beds." He said as he kissed her forehead.

"Well maybe we should get our own place. Outside of Division." Alex suggested.

"Do you think that's safe?" Sean said.

"I was at that house in Florida for nearly a month and nothing happened. I think that Division is likely the least safe place I could live right now. We'd just have to be careful when we picked a home out. Besides, I'm not going on missions anymore and you're not on the news either. The only reason we started living down here was because it was more practical for going on missions but now…"

"I agree. We should get a house. Preferably away from the equator." Sean said.

" I never thought I would miss Russian winters, but after spending so much time in Florida, six feet embankments sound like a dream come true." Alex said.

"Well, I wouldn't go that far." Sean said making Alex laugh.

"So where were you thinking?" She asked.

"Honestly? Preferably Virginia. You get all four seasons on a pretty even interval and it's close to where I grew up for the first ten years of my life. No one would recognize me there anymore, but we're still close enough to everything should we need anyone."

"Virginia sounds nice." Alex hummed snuggling in to Sean

"A new home, all ours. I can't wait." Sean said.


	13. Chapter 13

"Her last known location was in London, but her last communication confirmed she was, or at least knew about what was happening in Belize so…"Nikita rambled as she looked at all the articles and mission files Birkhoff had gathered over the last month on Amanda.

"Nikita." Michael said from the chair next to her

"There has to be some record of her there. I just don't see it!" Nikita continued.

"Nikita." Michael tried again.

"Maybe if we were to..."

"Nikita!" He said rather loudly, finally managing to get her attention. He stood up and held her lightly in his hands.

"Michael we have to find her!" Nikita said.

"I agree. But I just got back from spending nearly a month either unconscious or being tortured in some god forsaken jungle. I think Amanda can wait a few hours." Michael said softly.

"I'm not sure we can wait even a few minutes. If it isn't one of us getting captured, or incapacitated….We've got the Danforth on a leash right now, so the President is not really an issue, but after Sonya intercepted a call with Danforth threatening Ryan, everyone in Division now knows how at risk we are. The whole place is like a minefield, and the only way I can see us getting out is getting rid of Amanda once and for all." Nikita explained. She looked as exhausted as Michael felt.

"Those issues have been there for months. That's not what's bothering you now. Just talk to me Nikita. Tell me what's going on." Michael tried again.

Nikita looked at the floor, her hair blocking her face from Michael's view. When she looked up at him, she had tears in her eyes and running down her face.

"You could've died. I thought I had lost you for good." She said with her voice wavering.

"You didn't. I'm right here." Michael said pulling Nikita into his embrace, holding her as she cried.

"It's okay. You don't have to brave in front of me. It's okay." Michael comforted her.

Owen took the elevator to training level. It was his first night back and Division and his first chance to resume his routine. He hoped that nothing had changed with his absence and he would once again have the place to himself.

No such luck.

"Are you supposed to be up here alone?" Owen asked Irina as he stepped into the room.

"I'm not alone. You're here. What you can't handle me?" She asked as she gave an effective kick to the punching bag.

"Oh I can handle whatever you've got." He said grabbing the bag from the air and shoving it lightly back at her.

Irina walked past Owen to the training dummy and began practicing.

"Your form is getting better. You'll replace Alex in the field in no time now." Owen said as he watched her. Irina stopped and gave a small laugh; she then shook her head and continued hitting the dummy.

"What you don't think so?" Owen asked.

"It's not that…"Irina started. She then stopped and looked at Owen. "Alex was always different than the other girls. She could withstand more drugs than the others; she would be snarkier with the guards, no matter the consequences. I guess I just didn't expect her differences to extend to biology." Irina said.

"What do you mean?"

"Since to Vlad birth control was too expensive and abortions too risky and his clients usually disliked using condoms, he needed a way to make sure we would not get pregnant. So he added some sort of black market version of an infertility drug to the heroin he gave us. He would always tell his clients that we were all infertile and clean so they could have their way with us as they pleased. I didn't really believe he could have done that, but I got a check-up at a Women's clinic once I got away and found out I was indeed infertile. The doctor wasn't really sure why and couldn't draw up any real conclusions as to the cause. I knew then that he hadn't been lying." Irina brushed her hair out of her face and turned back to the dummy.

"So what you're saying is Alex can't get pregnant either." Owen said.

"She shouldn't have, no. But like I said, she's always been different than other girls. Then again, she wasn't with Vlad as long as I was. Maybe one needs longer exposure for it to be permanent."

"Yeah, that's probably it." Owen said. He was not entirely sure what to make of the story Irina had just told him. A drug that made someone permanently infertile seemed a little farfetched, but then again he had been on the regiment. Those drugs made him feel like he had super powers so maybe it wasn't that unlikely.

"Well, if you're going to interrupt my training, we should spar." Irina said, dragging Owen out of his thoughts.

"Alright, but I'm not going easy on you." He said and got into form.

"I'd be insulted if you did." She said and then launched at him.

"It's not a mansion Sean! It's a house!" Alex said trying to agree with Sean on what their future home should be.

"A house with eight bedrooms, six full bathrooms, a finished basement with another kitchen and a four car garage is definitely what I'd consider a mansion."

"Fine we'll live in your barn." Alex retorted.

"It's not a barn it's a raised ranch. A simple slit level house with four bedrooms and three full bathrooms is very reasonable for three people, one of which doesn't even need a bedroom for quite some time." Sean said defending the home he chose.

"The security is crap there." Alex said looking at the simple home.

"Birkhoff will help with that."

"Birkhoff will do what now?" Birkhoff asked as he walked into the main level of operations where Sean and Alex were.

"You'll help us make our house secure for us won't you?" Sean said.

"I don't know about that. Alex here still owes me a new house after she got my other one blown up."

"I don't know when that will happen since Sean and I can't even pick out one for us. It's taken four hours and we can't even decide on how many bedrooms we need."

"That wouldn't be a problem if you'd just accept that we don't need to live in a castle." Sean said.

Alex put her face in her hands.

"Why do you even need a house anyway? It's not like you're getting kicked out of here." Birkhoff said.

"I think our child shouldn't have to grow up in a bunker." Sean said.

"That's one style of home we can both check off the list." Alex added.

"So why Virginia?" Birkhoff asked.

"How did you…"Alex started.

"Come on, you used my computer and didn't even erase the internet history. Have I taught you nothing?" He asked. Alex smiled.

Nikita and Michael were sparring in one of the weight rooms when Owen walked in.

"Hey can I talk to you two for a second?" Owen said distracting Nikita enough for Michael to get the upper hand and drop her to the floor.

"Sure thing, as soon as….I win!" Nikita said turning the tables on Michael and getting above him. She then let go, got up and walked over to where Owen was.

"What's up?" Michael asked massaging his bruised neck, and likely bruised ego.

"I think that there may be something not quite right about Alex's situation." Owen said, not quite sure how to bring up his concerns.

"What do you mean?" Nikita asked.

"Well we all thought she was acting a little different once we got her back from Amanda in South Ossetia. I think we were right."

"She was probably just acting strange because she just found out she was pregnant. That would make anyone act a little off." Michael said voicing what everyone had assumed.

"Yeah and she's been normal ever sense." Nikita said.

"It could be nothing…It's just that…Well I was talking to Irina and she said all the girls from the brothel that they both came from were supposed to be …infertile." This conversation could not get any more awkward.

"Alex was only there for about a year and a half, maybe it didn't have enough time to take effect on her." Nikita said. Her friend was happy and she really didn't want that to change. Alex deserved this.

"I know, I know. It's just that the timing is all so close. Alex was with Amanda for three days, no one knows what happened then, not even Alex. I don't want anything to be wrong, I really don't, but it just isn't lining up. Before I came down here I went to medical and looked at Alex's records…."Owen started.

"You had no right to do that Owen, no one has the right to those except for Alex and the doctors." Michael said rather upset at Owen's actions.

"And Birkhoff right? After all he's the one who performs the checkups for bugs. I only checked his evaluation after she got back from being with Amanda. Don't you think he would have noticed something like a slight change in hormone levels or something? He didn't though. She was supposedly exactly as she had been before. And yet a week later she's supposedly eight weeks pregnant." Owen said.

"Eight weeks though Owen, that means she would have been pregnant even before Amanda had her." Nikita justified.

"I know…I just…Amanda's just getting to me I guess. Forget I said anything." Owen said.

Nikita and Michael just stared at floor for a few moments in silence.

"Do you think that…" Michael started to say, Owen's words ringing in his head.

"No!" Nikita said quickly, even though she too was starting to wonder.

"No, of course not." Michael amended.

The two of them just stood there in silence, questioning everything they had though they knew for sure.


	14. Chapter 14

"We're just trying to understand the situation, that's all." Nikita said. Her Michael and Birkhoff were all gathered around Ops. The place was more or less deserted as they had no active missions and it was nearly midnight.

"What's there to understand? She's pregnant." Birkhoff said, not understanding Nikita's concern.

"But how do we know…"Michael started.

"Because that's what Alex told us and what a doctor told her. Why are you two all up in arms about this all the sudden? The time for concerned parents has passed." Birkhoff turned back to his computer.

"I just think we should…"

"Sean and I finally agree on the perfect…." Alex came bursting in to the room with Sean following close behind. She was smiling brightly, an emotion that hadn't been on her face for months, but once she saw the faces of her friends she stopped. "What's wrong?" She asked, concerned at their expressions.

"These two seem to think that you're supposed to be infertile. That somehow your pregnancy isn't real. I have to tell you princess, I don't get what all the huff is about. Sonya's told me how much you've been worshipping the porcelain gods lately." Birkhoff said, not noticing the effect his words had on Alex.

"Who…who told you I was infertile?" Her voice wavered a little.

No one knew about that. When Alex had first thought she might have been pregnant she brushed it aside thinking it was impossible. She remembered what Vlad had said. She knew what he had done; or she thought she knew. The signs kept piling up and soon enough she just didn't feel like herself anymore so she bought the test. She thought it was a fluke but the joy she felt wouldn't let her keep it to herself. The one thing she thought she could never have was happening, and more importantly it was happening with a man she loved.

"You're little Russian friend Irina let it slip. Said something about some really strong birth control you all were given back in the day." Birkhoff answered.

"My pregnancy was confirmed. I took a home test and a doctor confirmed it with a blood test. They can't both be wrong." Alex said trying to sound as confident as possible, but her voice still shook slightly.

"See guys? Nothing to worry about, now let's just put this craziness to bed and you all can leave me in peace." Birkhoff said. He was four digits away from cracking into China's main bank, just for fun of course.

"Well it wasn't a real doctor." Sean supplemented getting a little concerned with this conversation's path.

"Sean!" Alex yelled, the betrayal she felt at his comment was reflected in her eyes.

"What do you mean not a real doctor?" Michael said. Sean's comment peaked everyone's interest; even Birkhoff looked up from his screen.

"What? It was just one of Division's medical staff. Where do they even get their certification?" Sean said.

"Same way other agent's get their license to kill, we give it to them." Birkhoff said turning around in his chair suddenly a little more interested in this conversation.

Alex's face was filled with disbelief. Everyone seemed to think that she didn't know what was happening in her own body. But she _did_ know. She could feel the life growing inside her. She knew in her gut that it was a perfectly healthy baby. Her and Sean's baby. Sean's doubt hurt her in a way she thought he had promised never to do again.

"No! I know that I'm pregnant. How can you guys not trust _me_? Fine if you don't trust me just look at my file. The doctor added my results to it right after she did the blood test." Alex said hoping that would convince the others.

"OK." Birkhoff sand and turned back to his screen. "Huh."

"What?" Alex said walking toward the computer.

"It looks like the last entry to the file was when you got your BP down to acceptable. There is no mention of any pregnancy test or results." Birkhoff said.

"That's impossible. Sean was there too. He heard her say I was pregnant.""

"Yeah, she ran the test and was done in like ten minutes." Sean said crossing his arms.

"Ten minutes? You can't get results about blood samples in ten minutes." Michael said.

"She said it was some new high tech test that Division had access to." Alex defended.

"I've never heard of anything like that and I know Percy sure as hell wouldn't go for it. He was always looking for ways to cut funding." Birkhoff said.

"Just stop! This is crazy. Amanda didn't experiment on me! Why can't just be happy for me?" Alex shouted.

"We have no idea what Amanda is capable of Alex. We have to be prepared for every scenario, even the most unlikely." Nikita tried to reason with her. She saw the pain on Alex's face, but that pain would be nothing in compared to what she would feel once she found out she wasn't pregnant at all. Nikita was just trying to lessen the blow.

"Hey everyone relax! I'll just pull up the medical staff manifest and Alex can pick out the doctor she saw and we can just talk to her to get this all straightened out." Birkhoff said.

"Fine." Alex said, glad that at least one person still seemed to have her back. She walked over to the screen and scrolled through the images. She kept scrolling each row of faces that she didn't recognize making her more and more nervous.

"Alex?" Nikita asked, wondering why finding one doctor was taking so long.

_No._

"That's impossible." Alex said under her breath. She scrolled back to the top of the page and began reexamining the names and faces.

"Alex's what's wrong?" Sean asked noticing her growing distress.

"She's not here." Alex said looking up at Sean in worry. _Maybe she wasn't…..No it had to some kind of sick joke…..She had to be…._

Alex walked away from the computer covering her mouth.

"Maybe she's new. What's her name?" Birkhoff said looking at the computer trying to help out.

"She never said." Sean murmured, watching Alex intently. His heart hurt with this revelation. He had just gotten used to the idea of becoming a father. He was looking forward to it, even. Now, he didn't know what to think, to feel, to do. It was as if his whole world had finally been right side up since his mother died and now this. Once again Amanda managed ruin his life in just a matter of seconds.

But he couldn't dwell on his pain. He had to be strong, for Alex.

"Listen, it's okay Alex. It wasn't the best time anyway. We'll get through this." He went to put a comforting arm on her shoulder but she quickly shook him off and turned to look at him, her eyes were boiling with rage.

"No! I am pregnant! I don't need this. I don't need any of you!" Alex yelled and stalked off. She turned away too quickly for anyone to see the tears streaming down her face.

The others just stood there and stared at Sean with empathy.

Irina shrunk back into the shadows as Alex rushed by. She had been on her way to the training level but had stopped in her tracks when she heard her name mentioned. The path of the conversation shook her. She never expected her offhand comment to bring about this.

She ran to the training level once Alex was down the hall. She had to talk to Owen; well talk was one way you could put what she had planned.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Irina screamed as she shoved Owen away from the dummy he was beating on and into the wall.

"Hey if you wanted to spar all you had to do was ask." Owen said and smirked at the girl pinning his to the glass.

"How could you tell them? You have no idea what you have done!" Irina screamed.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Owen said shoving her off him. Her shrill voice was starting to get on his nerves.

"Alex! You told them that she shouldn't be pregnant and now …..It's all falling apart!"

"Hey! That's not my fault. They had a right to know that something wasn't right." Owen defended himself.

"You didn't …you didn't see her face. They all doubt her now. All her friends…her family…this is what she wanted all along." Irina whispered the last part to herself, but Owen still heard her.

"What who wanted?" Owen asked. Irina looked up, shocked, as if she hadn't realized she had said that out loud.

"I.. I didn't…no one said.." Irina scrambled for the right words. Her eyes told Owen more than enough though.

He jumped on her pulling out a knife from only god knows where and held it tightly to her throat.

"Amanda? You're working for her aren't you!" Owen seethed as he held her tightly the tip of the blade digging into her skin.

"Like….I have …a choice!" She managed to get out.

"You always have a choice!" He growled back, more angry at himself for letting his guard down near another one of Amanda's pawns.

"Not with her." Irina said her face getting paler by the second. Owen finally let go of her throat but still kept her pinned to the ground.

"What makes you think you had to betray us? Betray Alex? She's the only reason you're still alive and you do something like this to repay her?"

"I didn't know I was doing anything. That's how Amanda works. She gets in your head, muddles everything up." Irina grasped at her throat trying to stop the burning feeling.

"What do you mean you didn't know?"

"I thought I got rid of her, when I came here, but she found me. I was in the grocery store just before you two got when she found me. She saw me getting the pregnancy book for Alex and mentioned how she had though all of Vlad's girls were infertile. I was so shocked at seeing her that I couldn't move. The next thing I know she's gone. I figured it was all in my head….but now….One comment and everything falls apart. She had to have known what would happen." Irina explained.

Owen sighed and got off of her and instead took a seat next to her.

"I know now that it wasn't in my head. She must have been planning it all along. It's so sad though." Irina whispered.

"What is?"

"How one little thing can completely drive you all apart. None of you trust each other, not fully, and that will be your downfall. If it's always so easy to get to you, she will always win." Irina said.

"We have to tell the others, before this gets way out of hand." Owen said as he stood and then turned to offer Irina a hand up.

She took it cautiously, her eyes never leaving the knife still held loosely in his other hand.

"Guys listen, about what I said earlier, I take it back." Owen said rushing into Ops.

"No Owen you were right. Something isn't right about this situation." Nikita said.

"Not to mention Amanda somehow manage to get another mole in here too." Michael said.

"What?" Owen stopped, unconsciously moving to block Irina from the group.

"Yeah, turns out the doctor that told Alex she was pregnant doesn't actually work her. I've been going over the schedule to figure out who was supposed to be working then an scheduling interviews. We seriously need to set up cameras down here." Birkhoff sighed and went back to work.

"You guys got it all wrong. Alex is fine, it's all part of Amanda's plan to get us to turn on each other." Owen said.

"Owen what are you-"

"Alex is gone!" Sean yelled as he ran into Ops.

"What?" asked Nikita.

"A bunch of her stuff is missing from our room and I can't find her anywhere." Sean said breathing heavily his face etched with worry.

"This was what I was talking about! Now that Amanda has Alex believing no one believes in her, who knows what's going on in her head." Owen said.

"Birkhoff you have to track her." Sean said getting over to the computer terminal.

"She doesn't have a tracker in her anymore. If she doesn't want to be found, she won't be." Birkhoff said.

Everyone just stared at each other, no one with any idea what to do. It was possible that they had lost Alex forever.

Amanda finally won.


	15. Chapter 15

_She was alone._

It had been three days since Alex left the confines of Division when the thought really struck. She figured they might be looking for her, or hoped they were at least. Not that she wanted them to find her; _traitors._

It was strange to be on the run again. Alex had been looking over her shoulder all her life, but now she wasn't just avoiding enemies she was avoiding everyone she had ever met. No one was allowed to know where she was because she couldn't trust anyone anymore.

Papa had said that there would come a time that she would have to trust other people, but he was wrong. All trusting in others had ever gotten Alex was pain. It was time to be independent, in control of her life with no one else pulling on her as if she were there puppet. She was done being Nikita's pawn to sacrifice as she saw fit or Sean's plaything to choose when he would pretend to love her.

Alex had a new mission. She was going to be a mother and she would protect her child from everyone and everything, no matter the cost.

That cost however started with renting out a small one room studio in a city in upstate New York. It was in a horrible neighborhood, but the landlord didn't ask questions and that was all Alex really needed. She bought a cot from a Salvation Army store along with a duffle bag to carry her few belongings in. She had taken a bunch of her clothes from Division, but she sold them all to be able to pay for the down payment for the apartment and the necessary supplies she would need to start a new life.

Alex tugged the rough blanket closer around her body as a cool draft blew in through the window that would never shut completely. It was only her third night and already she was having second thoughts. But then she remembered all of their faces; wary, nervous and untrusting. The pang of hurt Alex felt each time she thought of how all of them were ready to believe Amanda had done something to her than the fact that a miracle had occurred ripped through her body, tearing her at the seams.

She understood where they were coming from though. Amanda always seemed to know where all the cracks were and knew exactly how to make them so large and so broken that there was no way to mend what had been broken. With just her words, Amanda broke the solid relationship Alex had with Nikita and now she had done it with everyone else.

Well not _everyone_ else.

Alex's hand moved down to the small bump of her stomach. She would do everything in her power to protect the life she was carrying. Even if it meant leaving everyone else behind.

Sean sat stock still with his back leaning heavily on the metal wall behind him. He had gone to the training level with the intention of working his frustrations out on a training dummy.

That had been four hours ago.

Once he stepped out of the elevator all of his energy just left him and he collapsed to the floor.

_She was gone._

Alex had left three, well it was more like four now, days ago, without so much as one bread crumb left behind. Birkhoff said she would come back eventually, but Nikita said she would only be found when she wanted to be. Neither of their beliefs were much of a comfort to Sean.

What hurt Sean more about Alex's absence was that _he_ was to blame. He kept promising her that he would never hurt her and then he kept doing it anyway. He didn't trust her to know her own body and he participated in the mass betrayal of accusing her of being Amanda's little science experiment.

No matter what he did, Sean couldn't stop seeing Alex's face after everyone seemed convinced that she in fact wasn't pregnant.

He caused her that misery, and that was something that would haunt him for the rest of his days.

Sean looked up from the palm of his hands at the sound of the elevator reaching the level he was on. Owen stepped out from the elevator, his eyes showing the shock of seeing Sean there, but they quickly transformed to those of sympathy.

Sean only glared at him, hoping he would understand that he just wanted to be alone. No such luck. Owen stepped closer to Sean and then slid down the wall to sit down next to him.

"Can't sleep?" Owen asked. Sean remained silent.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry things turned out the way that they did." Owen tried again.

"She's still gone." Sean said, his voice cracked exposing the fact that he had been crying not too long ago.

"I'm sorry man." Owen said trying to comfort the man next to him.

The daylight didn't bring Alex any comfort. In fact she preferred the darkness. At least in the dark she couldn't see the empty room for what it really was, a drab dank room with dirt covering every surface and asbestos likely invading the walls.

It wasn't home, that's for sure, but it had a roof.

Before she left, Alex had made herself a new identity packet so that she could at least have a place to start. The next thing she would have to do would be getting a job. In all honesty Alex had never worked a day in her life. Sure she could survive in the woods and avoid society all together, but with being pregnant she thought it probably wasn't the best option. She wasn't sure really what to do though, in normal society. As a sex slave all she had to do was perform when called upon; the same could be said for her time in Division. Well she had always said she wanted to know what it felt like to be normal, she just never thought it would be so hard.

Alex got up and folded the thin blanket and placed it on the end of the cot. She wasn't going to find a job lying in bed all day.

As she walked down the street she looked for any Help wanted signs, hoping something would just appear. After walking around for nearly two hours she walked into a small coffee shop and looked at the bulletin board just within the entrance.

"Looking to join a band?" A man who was posting a piece of paper up asked.

"Don't know, how much does it pay?" Alex asked, quickly reprimanding herself. Being snarky would only get her noticed and she couldn't afford that now.

The man gave a small laugh, "Ah, so it's a job you're after. Well I actually happen to know something you might be interested in."

"There's a job opening here?" Alex asked looking around for a sign indicating that they were hiring.

"No, but the flower shop across the street could use some help." He said pointing at a small store at the end of the block.

"There's no sign." Alex said.

"Oh hell no, the owner is way too proud to ever admit the need for anyone else. The lady who owns the place broke her leg almost two weeks back and now has to be on crutches. I know it can't be easy. Customers in here have said she's been even more grouchy than normal."

"What makes you think she'll take my help. And I can't work for free, I need money." Alex said.

"The only way she'd take your help is if she paid you. Just head over there and tell her Jeb sent you to help her out." The man, Jeb walked away and left Alex to stare at the small store all by herself.

Alex walked in through the dark wooden door, a bell signaling her entrance to the whole store.

"Hello, I'm here if you want, or don't want. Look around, but don't stay too long unless you plan on buying something. And watch out for Fritz, he hates everyone." A woman with light gray hair with a watering can in her hand said without looking up from the plant she was watering. An orange tabby cat with cold eyes and rough fur sat on the window sill next to her.

Alex smile, she liked this woman already.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: I just wanted to say thanks so much for all the reviews and just like you all seem to enjoy getting emails about updates, I love getting emails about new reviews :) I know that not every chapter is all that good, but there have to be a few fillers here and there so that I have time to really get a handle on where I'm going with this. I don't have a set plan, just a few basic ideas of what I want to include. All reviews help greatly with inspiration! To those of you who also write, just so you know I love reading all you stuff as well.** **Thanks again and enjoy!**

Alex wished that she had known just how boring being normal was. Every day she would get up, do the odd jobs that Tess, her boss and now landlord, had for her and then she would be free to do whatever she pleased with the rest of her day. It was always the same monotonous tasks of watering the plants or arranging flowers or checking in the supplies when the delivery guys came. Two weeks she had been at the flower shop, but it had only taken two days for her to get tired of the slow pace and overly friendly clientele.

"You know if I knew Jeb was going to send me such a dreamer to help I would have never agreed to it. It's a good thing your aims no good, you damn near drowned the thing." Tess said as she hobbled over and yanked the watering can from Alex's hand. Her voice had brought Alex back to reality and it was then that she noticed the puddle of water on the floor.

"Don't just stand there, clean it up." Tess growled and hobbled off. Well, Tess definitely balanced out the sunny disposition of the customers with her own character.

Alex went to the supply closet and pulled out a mop in order to clean up the floor.

"Then again maybe you shouldn't be lifting a five gallon can in your condition." Tess observed from behind the counter. Alex straightened up and tried to hide her surprise.

"What condition?" Alex asked trying to sound oblivious.

"Don't play dumb with me. You may be skinny but unless you ate the fridge out for dinner last night, which I know for a fact you didn't, you're pregnant." Tess smirked slightly as if she deduced some difficult puzzle. "How far along are you anyway? Can't be that far." She asked.

"About fourteen weeks, I think." Alex responded as she finished up mopping the floor. She tried to hide her nerves in her voice but she knew that she failed miserably. She hated talking about her pregnancy nowadays.

"You think? When are you due?"

"I'm not sure." Alex responded.

"You think and you're not sure? What crackpot doctor did you see anyhow?"

"I haven't actually seen a doctor yet." Alex said avoiding Tess's gaze as she wrung out the mop.

"What? When were you planning on seeing one? When you went into labor?" Tess screeched outraged.

"Sure, that seems as good a time as any." Alex replied getting a little snarky herself.

"That's it. You're going to go see a doctor, a real doctor, right now. Go on, get! I don't want to see you back her unless you have a prescription for prenatal vitamins or something proving you saw someone. I see enough death around this place with Fritz killing rats right and left, I don't need you miscarry because you're being stupid. Now go!" Tess grabbed the mop from Alex's hand and shoved her out the door, glaring at her through the glass.

Alex sighed; sometimes Tess just cared too much for her grating personality to allow.

* * *

"You alright?" Owen asked as he followed Irina back into Division.

"Oh sure, why wouldn't I be? I mean I just shot a man through the head, but hey it's just another day in Division. "Irina huffed.

"They're not all going to turn out this way." Owen tried to comfort her.

"Really? Because I have a feeling if my first mission, which was just supposed to be recon, ends in bloodshed then it's not likely that the rest of them will turn out any better." She said and went to slam the door to her room but Owen caught it with his foot and followed her in.

"Rin it's gonna take time….What?" Owen asked as he noticed the fire blazing in her eyes as she turned to look at him.

"What did you just call me?" She asked as she took a threatening step toward him. Owen blinked trying to understand why she was so angry, he didn't…oh.

"Oh." He said and took a step back raising his hands in defense. He had been personally training her for weeks now, so he knew exactly how hard she could punch him if she put her weight into it.

"Yeah. Oh"

"Listen, it's just a nickname no reason to get all bent out of shape." Owen said running his hand over his neck.

"I like my name just the way it is." She said, but her tone wasn't as harsh as before. Irina turned around began to undress.

"Whoa, hey give a guy some warning." Owen said as he threw his arm up to block his view.

"What? I heard you used to take your clothes off left and right."

"That was only to piss Sean off. What are you changing for anyway? I thought we were going to the gym."

"I can't wear such a tight shirt to the gym." She answered and then whispered. "And I have….I have to get his blood off of me." Her voice was so soft that Owen could barely hear it.

"I didn't know you were that close." He responded, his tone just as soft.

"I wasn't. I just wish I didn't have to kill him. His blood will always be on my hands now. I wish I could be like you and not remember my past." She said and finished changing.

Owen's eyes darkened. "Not remembering what I've done is not the gift that you think it is. It drives me crazy to no knowing who I was or what I did."

"I would give anything not to remember who I was, what I was forced to, or even more so what I chose to do on my own. I was a horrible person, if you could even call me that. My past was strangling me, stopping me from ever being better. But without it, it's like a huge weight off my shoulders. Why do you care so much about who you were before?" Irina asked, not understanding how the man before her could not see how lucky he was.

"The past is everything. And not knowing mine leaves me lost."

"The past is nothing! If it was, there would be nothing I could do to be a better person. I would have no chance at making amends. The only thing that affects our future is what we do now. The decisions we make at this moment, nothing else, defines who we are. Forget about the past, it won't help you." Irina said as she placed her hands on his chest, her thumb unknowingly grazing right above the butterfly tattoo on his chest.

He nodded, taking in all she had said. He then covered her hands with his. She then shoved him lightly into the wall and walked out of the room.

"Now come on, I distinctly remember the mentioning of a rematch from when we fought yesterday." She said as she headed down the hall. Owen smirked and followed her out.

"Ready to get your ass kicked again?" He called after her.

* * *

Alex sat on the cool table in the exam room and waited. She felt like she had been staring out the small greasy window for hours without hearing or seeing a single soul. But hey, that's what you got at the smallest women's clinic in the boondocks of New York.

She jumped off the table after what felt like an eternity and prepared herself to leave empty handed. She still had a lease at the apartment if she needed a place to crash for the night and Tess would forget about the whole thing in a day or two. She went to go pick up her bag from the floor but stopped once she heard the door open. _Finally._

"Alright, it appears you didn't fill out your insurance information, date of birth, or even your name. Now I know this is just a clinic, but we still do need some basic information." A nurse said as she walked in, reading off a clipboard.

"I didn't fill anything out because I don't have any of the answer…" Alex's words stopped dead in her throat as she looked at the woman before her.

The nurse looked up in answer to Alex's sudden silence and her eyes grew with recognition.

The two women just stood there and stared at each other.


	17. Chapter 17

"You." Alex said and she glared at the woman in front of her. "I guess you didn't lie about everything then." After the shock in the doctor's eyes wore off she quickly started to look confused.

"You know me?" The doctor asked.

"You're not very good at hiding. I mean you're wearing the same scrubs as when you were in Division." Alex said.

"Alright." The doctor turned around and grabbed something from the counter. When she turned back Alex could see what it was. A needle.

"What's that?" Alex said backing away.

"It's just something to help you relax. Don't worry miss, everything will be just fine." The doctor said. The woman stepped forward quickly and injected the needle into Alex's neck before Alex could even move out of the way.

"Why are you acting like you don't know me? Hey what…what was that? What's …what's going on?" Alex's vision was fading in and out. The window Alex had been looking out earlier morphed into a gray plaster wall and then shifted back to the window. The room was spinning and finally it all faded to black.

The woman quickly shut the exam room door behind her and took a deep breath. She then walked down the hall.

"We have a problem." She said as she walked into a simply and yet well decorated office.

Amanda looked up from the computer screen she had been staring at intently.

"What to mean?" She said, the threat evident in her voice.

"She woke up. You said that she was supposed to be completely out of it. She stared directly at me and recognized me."

"What did you say to her?" Amanda asked as she rose from her seat.

"Nothing. I just went in and took her vitals like I have been for the past two weeks and all the sudden she just started talking to me. She acted as though she knew what was going. She must have been in some form of doctor's office in her mind. I just upped her meds and knocked her out"

"Andrea, tell me exactly what she said when she appeared lucid."

"Nothing too important just that I was taking forever and then she saw me and said I looked the same as when I was in Division." Andrea responded.

"Okay, we can deal with this. Although reintroducing her back into the world she was in may be difficult. It will have to be dealt with in the most fragile of ways." Amanda said as she put her hands together and tried to figure her way out of this.

"Oh I'm sure you'll come up with some story to weave into her mind. You always do." Andrea said entering Alex's information onto her chart.

Everything was proceeding exactly on schedule.

* * *

"Why did you call us all in here at…three in the morning?" Michael asked Birkhoff as he entered and closed the door tightly behind himself. Nikita, Michael, Owen, Sonya and Ryan all were in Ryan's office waiting to find out why Birkhoff had called them all there.

"Where's Sean?" Birkhoff asked mentally checking off who was there.

"He said to come and get him if the world was going to end but otherwise just leave him alone. I gotta say I was tempted to ditch too. What's this all about?" Owen asked.

"We've got a leak." Birkhoff said as he pulled up a map of division.

"I thought the Silo was sealed off." Nikita said.

"No not the silo, this." Birkhoff said as he turned his computer around and showed everyone. It showed a room with a hallway that lead to an even smaller room and then another hallway; the patterned like that continued probably ten times before it finally let out into small stairwell that led out onto the farm that was above division.

"Where is this?" Owen asked.

"Where else? It starts from a door in Amanda's old office, the one she had when Percy was still in charge." Birkhoff said.

"What were you doing back there?" Michael asked.

"I was just finishing up wiring the whole place with the new sound system when I noticed the door. It's made to look like a simple wall panel but it was cracked open so I went to investigate and found all this." He gestured to the screen.

"This must have been the way that Amanda got her mole doctor in her." Nikita said.

"Which got me thinking, that's probably how the woman got out of here as well. So I went back and tracked the sound from everywhere that I had already installed the system and listened for anything that didn't sound right. That's when I found this." Birkhoff then started a recording. There was a little static at first but then it cleared up.

"…He-…Hey what's going on?...I don't ….What are you doing to me?" It was Alex's voice that played through. She sounded completely out of it.

"Alex didn't leave, someone took her." Owen deduced. Birkhoff nodded.

"My guess is that Amanda had her." Birkhoff added.

"That means she's had her this whole time. The whole two weeks she's been gone and Amanda's probably had her the whole time doing God knows what to her." Nikita put a hand to her face, unable to deal with the thoughts that came to her mind at what must have been happening to her friend.

"Nikita we never could have known." Michael tried to comfort her.

"Well we know now. We have to do something." Owen said.

"Seymour how far did your system reach at the time of this recording?" Sonya asked.

"Only to the residential level. I hadn't even gotten to the level that Amanda had previously occupied yet." Birkhoff looked remorseful.

"But there are still sensors operating on that level yes? You need a key card to open the door to the room there and to get the elevator to even stop on that floor. You can track the sensor history can't you?" Sonya asked.

"Yeah… Yes! And if the perimeter set up around the farm would go off unless…Yes!" Birkhoff raised his arms in celebration.

"What is it?" Michael asked.

"There's a code that someone could type into a keypad in the kitchen at the farm that would turn off the perimeter around the farm for an hour or so. Percy would do that anytime we got in large orders of supplies from the outside. The best part is there's still a record of every time it was punched in…..And it looks like it has been punched in a lot over the last few months." Birkhoff said as he typed away on the computer.

"So whoever it was that has been infiltrating Division has been here the whole time. They could have moved in and out without ever getting caught." Nikita said sounding a little angry.

"Computer guy you really need to buff up your security." Owen said glaring at Birkhoff.

"What do you think I'm doing now? If I never started with the intercom system I would have never found any of this and Amanda would always have been a step ahead." Birkhoff defended himself.

"Everyone cool it." Ryan said, as always being the head of reason. "What's important is that we know now and we make of plan of how to proceed."

"I have an idea but I don't think you'll like it." Michael offered, glancing at Nikita.

"What is it?" She asked.

"We don't do anything."

"What do you mean we don't do any-!" Michael put up a hand to silence her outrage.

"We wait. We watch the door and we wait for the intruder to come back. Right now we still don't know anything about where Amanda is and if she really does have Alex." Birkhoff went to protest, but again Michael raised his hand. "We have some pretty good idea that she does have her, but no definite proof. We would have all the proof we needed if we captured the intruder and interrogated her. So we wait for her to come back." Michael explained.

Everyone considered the plan and as none of them could come up with another one they agreed to it. Birkhoff immediately went to tightening up security around Amanda's old residence and everyone else went back to bed. It was going to be a long next couple of weeks.

* * *

"Hey there you are. You scared the hell out of the doctor with your fall." Alex blinked rapidly and her eyes focused on Tess who was at her side.

"My what?" Alex asked still trying to get her bearings straight. Tess's eyes showed some concern.

"It's common for some memory loss after such a hard fall. But don't worry your baby was completely unharmed." Alex quickly looked at the sound of a new voice, but soon wished she hadn't as she got very dizzy from the movement.

"I followed you here to make sure you actually went to the doctor like I told you to and then they tell me you fell collapsed at the entrance as soon as you got here." Tess said, explaining her presence.

Alex put her hand to her head still trying to clear out all the confusing thoughts running through her mind. She was at the flower shop and then Tess told her to go to the doctor so she did. She couldn't remember how she got there though, no matter how hard she tried. Then she remembered something else, something that clashed with the version of events that Tess was telling her. The doctor from Division and the needle. All the sudden Alex started hyperventilating as she stated remembering all that happened.

"No. You're…you're lying…something's not right. I have to ..I have to get out of here." She moved to sit up but Tess put an arm on her to hold her down.

"Alex you need to calm down." She said. That caused Alex to look at her sharply.

"I never told you my name." Alex said glaring at Tess sharply. Tess faltered and looked up at the doctor for help. All the sudden Alex felt a sharp pain in her arm and she looked down to see an I.V. running down her arm. Then she blacked out again.

"You're making this very difficult for yourself Alex." Amanda said as she hung the new drip bag up next to the bed where Alex lay. Amanda shook her head and then turned to leave the room.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: I know I'm disappointed in myself too for breaking my streak. However I do hope that this makes up for it ant that you all forgive me.**

Alex woke to the feeling of a cool breeze flowing over her. She was in a concrete room with no windows and just one bright ceiling light exposing her to the empty room. She had no idea how she had gotten there. No matter how hard she tried, she always felt a huge pain shoot through her head blocking her from being able to remember what had happened. The last thing she could recall was being in the women's clinic and seeing the doctor from Division who had originally confirmed her pregnancy. No wait that couldn't be right. She also remembered a male doctor and Tess telling her she had fallen and had gotten a concussion. None of it made any sense and her thoughts were so muddled.

Alex went to get up and as she moved her body felt heavier than she last remembered. She looked down and noticed that her once unnoticeable bump was now significantly larger. It would still be possible for her to hide her pregnancy now, but not for much longer.

All the sudden the sound of a door opening behind Alex had her quickly standing up and looking for the source. She ignored the nausea and dizziness she felt from her movements. Her eyes widened as she saw who had entered the room.

"Amanda." Alex said her voice sounded hoarse as if she hadn't used it in weeks.

"Hello Alex, it's good to see you're finally awake." Amanda said in her usual fake pleasant manner.

"Where am I?" Alex asked her nervousness hard to mask. She wanted nothing more than to not let Amanda get to her but with all had happened, all that she didn't remember, she just couldn't stop her fear from growing. In her present condition it would be hard to protect herself, and that feeling of defenselessness shook her to the core.

"You're in a safe place, for now. In order to stay safe you have to do something for me." Amanda said giving one of her signature smirks.

"What do you want me to do?" Alex would play along in Amanda's sick games for now, but the second she saw a chance to get the upper hand, she would take it.

"It's simple, I just need you to go back to Division and retrieve something for me."

"Why don't you just go in the same way you got me out and get whatever it is you want by yourself?" Alex asked.

"Don't be silly Alex. They've been giving their undivided attention to monitoring that entrance since they found it. The only way to use that path is by someone they were never expecting to see again."

"Me." Alex deduced.

"Exactly."

"And what if I say no? What if I don't want to help you?" Alex asked. She had to know what Amanda would do if she was to make a run for it.

"You won't say no, because if you did, you would lose the one thing you thought you could never have. Not to mention the fact that I've had you for three weeks now Alex. Everyone thought I had done something to you when I had you for only three days. They'll never believe I 've left you alone all this time." Amanda threatened and her smile grew as Alex's breath quickened.

"What _did_ you do to me?" Alex asked, her hand moving unconsciously to her stomach. She was wishing with all her heart that Amanda had nothing to do with_ that_.

"You know the answer to that Alex. And it's not what I did _to_ you, it's more like what I did _for_ you; wouldn't you say?" Amanda's sly smile only grew. Alex's face only fell.

"When do I leave?" She asked as she sat down on the cot behind her, utterly defeated.

"Soon, I have a few details to work out before we set everything in motion. For now, you should get some rest. I hear sleep is imperative in your condition." Amanda said and left the room. Alex simply lay on her side and curled up as much as she could and closed her eyes. She tried to imagine she was in her new home that she had just picked out with Sean and that her life wasn't spiraling down out of her control.

* * *

"Is it ready yet?" Amanda asked as she entered into the lab that Andrea had set up only a few rooms away from where they had Alex.

"Yes, everything is all set. With the last injection she got a few hours ago her mind is now you playground, even when she's conscious. Just give her this comm and your voice alone will be enough to manipulate her thoughts in just the same way you've been doing for weeks." Andrea seemed almost gleeful at her creation.

"Excellent. So you understand the plan?" Amanda asked her counterpart.

"As long as you hold up your end, I'll get the job done." Andrea said, her gaze steady as she looked Amanda in the eyes.

"Andrea, this acquisition is far too important for either one of us to mess up. The distraction needed for you to get in and out of Division unnoticed is already in motion." Amanda said in her sickly sweet voice. Andrea didn't trust her for a second, but Amanda did speak the truth about the important of this mission, so she would do as she was asked, this time.

* * *

"Birkhoff are you seeing this?" Sonya asked, utterly shocked at what her screen was displaying.

"Yeah." He answered, also appalled at what he was seeing.

"Nikita how did we let this happen? Three dirty thirties at the same time all decide to suddenly reappear from where they've been hiding and commit these atrocities? If we don't get a lid on this soon it will be a matter of hours before the President comes to wipe us all out." Ryan declared.

"I know, I know. We need a plan immediately." Nikita said.

"There're three locations. That means we need three teams to all go out at the same time. Nikita and I will take the bomb threat in Philadelphia, Owen and Irina can get the school in Connecticut, and Sean…well maybe not Sean. Anyway the last team will get the hostage situation on the subway. We'll figure out the last team later. We need to move now." Michael said, leaving Ops to gear up.

"I send intel to your phone on the road Mikey." Birkhoff shouted after him.

* * *

"Alright, everyone has cleared out. You understand what you're supposed to do right Alex?" Amanda asked from the driver's seat. They were parked just outside of the perimeter of the farm above Division.

"Go in, get the weapon, and come back. No one gets hurt." Alex repeated back.

"Exactly. You may begin now." Amanda said and Alex went to leave the car but then stopped.

"What's to stop me from never coming back? My friends and family are in there, I could easily get them to help me. You have no way of knowing what I do in there. I would be safe from you for good." Alex said with her face looking to the farm, not even bothering to turn back around.

"Would you though? Really be safe? I got to you already within Division, what makes you think I only have one secret entrance? You have your task Alex, and I've already told you what will happen if you fail me." Amanda said sternly. Alex swallowed and nodded. She then left the car and started her mission.

"It's so strange how she didn't even know I was here." Andrea said from the backseat.

"Alex's mind is an impenetrable prison, and I am the warden. You should start on your task now as well. Remember, stay silent and walk without making any noise. I misstep and this is all for nothing" Amanda said.

Andrea nodded and followed Alex out of the car. Amanda's computer already had access to the sound system Birkhoff set up and she also had her own surveillance cameras within her hidden entrance that she could only gain access to at such a close distance to Division itself. With such a short range, neither Birkhoff nor Sonya would be able to detect Amanda's signal. She would stay in the car and monitor the mission's progress from there all while guiding Alex through her task.

As soon as Alex breached the perimeter, she quickly made her way to the kitchen and found the alarm system. She deactivated the alarm with the code Amanda had given her and then began her descent down the cellar stairs that would eventually lead into Division, or so Amanda said. Andrea followed her every move silently. Amanda's spoken directions left Alex's mind focused solely on the mission so she was unable to detect Andrea's presence.

Once Alex exited Amanda's old office she stopped dead in her tracks. There at the end of the hall, she briefly saw Sean walk by. He must not have heard her close the door behind her because he didn't stop walking or turn around. _I could go to him. I would be safe. No, stay away. It's not safe for anyone. Just do the job._

Alex continued walking and headed toward the armory.

Andrea took Alex's moment of hesitation as her signal. She stopped following Alex and instead headed to medical. Amanda watched the seen unfold before her and smiled. For once the plan seemed to be going flawlessly. She then shifted her attention to her own task and began typing.

* * *

"Ryan I just detected a signal from the fourth floor. Someone just opened the door to Amanda's office. It could be our intruder." Sonya said from her terminal.

"What? Now?" Ryan asked and turned his attention from the three simultaneous missions going on behind him.

"Yes and from Birkhoff's sound system I detect footsteps heading toward the armory."

Ryan sighed and looked around him. All his best agents were already in the field. He had no options left.

"Alright, I'll take care of it. Birkhoff, take over running the missions. Hadley, take over Birkhoff's job." Ryan dictated and he went to his office to grab his barely used gun.

* * *

Alex typed swiped the keycard and opened the gate blocking off the weapons. She then began looking for the weapon I.D. number Amanda told her to find.

_T1_873, T1-874, T1-876, T1-..Wait, where was T1-875? _

Alex rescanned the weapons rack as her heart began to beat faster. She had to find that weapon and soon, before…

"Alex?" Alex grabbed the nearest gun and turned sharply to the sound of her name. _No._

"Sean." Alex said, her grip on the gun loosening for just a second but then she remembered Amanda's threat. Her grip tightened back up and she held her gun steady.

"Alex what are you doing? Where have been? Are you alright?" Sean asked and he began to step towards her.

"No! No. Don't come any closer!" Alex shouted. As she stepped back as well, her back hitting the wall.

Sean put his hands up and stepped back as if to signify his surrender.

"Alex I-" Sean began but he was cut off.

"Stop right there Alex." Ryan said as he stepped around the corner, a gun trained on Alex.

"Ryan what are you doing?" Sean asked, confused at the sudden change of events.

"Are you working for Amanda?" Ryan asked stepping forward. He seemed to be ignoring Sean.

Sean immediately got in between the two people holding guns.

"I...No I just.." Alex mumbled but kept her gun held high.

"Ryan stop it! Do you hear yourself? Alex would never change sides. She hates Amanda just as much as the rest of us." Sean said blocking Ryan's view of Alex.

"Then what are you doing in the armory? We know you came through Amanda's office and you were trying to go undetected. If you're innocent Alex, please explain what you're doing down here?" Ryan asked. His eyes begging to understand.

"I…I have a mission." Alex stuttered. She still held her gun tightly but it was now trained on Ryan.

"Alex what're you talking about?" Sean asked in disbelief.

"What kind of mission? Alex put down the gun!" Ryan commanded as he watched her steady her aim on him.

"No Ryan stop." Sean said and came at Ryan. Ryan's body just acted from instinct and his finger pulled the trigger the bullet seemed to go straight through Sean's head and miss Alex's by mere centimeters. Ryan froze.

"No!" Alex shouted, lifted her gun and shot Ryan. Her emotions got the better of her and she hit his arm instead of his chest like she had intended. Ryan fell to the floor from the impact and then used his good arm to help him crawl away on the floor.

Alex dropped her gun immediately and fell to the floor next to Sean, taking his quickly paling face in her hands and sobbing over his body.

"No. No, no, oh God Sean no…" She cried over and over in agony.

"Birkhoff…I …I need assistance…Immediately…" Ryan managed to gasp out, hoping that Birkhoff's side project had managed to make it onto this level by now.

* * *

"I got it. Here you are. Everything else go to plan?" Andrea asked as she climbed into the passenger seat.

"It seems Mr. Fletcher will live, but other than that it went splendidly." Amanda said as she held out her hand for the item she had instructed Andrea to receive. Andrea handed over the blue bottle to Amanda.

Amanda examined the drugs in her hand. _Sobelex._ Amanda was now only a few short months from making millions upon millions of dollars. She smiled, put the container in her pocket and began to drive away.

"Thank God you guys are back. It's been crazy." Birkhoff said rushing over to Michael and Nikita as they got off the elevator.

"We were gone for three hours Birkhoff what happened?" Nikita asked.

"Alex is back." Ryan said as he stepped down from the elevated portion of Operations. His left arm was resting in a sling.

"What?" Nikita asked.

"And what happened to your arm?" Michael added.

"Guys Alex may be physically back here, but I don't think she is mentally all there." Birkhoff said.

"What do you mean?" Nikita asked, getting concerned.

"Alex shot me when I confronted her down in the armory. She didn't act like she came to try and kill me though. She seemed stressed and confused." Ryan said, trying to understand what had happened himself.

"I was listening to the whole thing from here and I have no idea what happened toward the end. It was like she saw Sean die or something." Birkhoff added.

"Sean die? But he was with Sanders in New York." Michael said.

"He is. Should be on his way back right now." Birkhoff said.

"Where is Alex right now?" Nikita asked.

"She's in a holding cell on level six." Birkhoff said and turned his computer screen so that everyone could see. There was Alex with a tear stained face curled up in a ball in the corner holding her knees to her chest rocking herself back and forth.

"What's going on?" Sean called out from behind and everyone turned to face him. As soon as he got a view of the screen they had all been looking at his eyes went wide.


	19. Chapter 19

Sean stared at her through the one way glass.

She was sleeping fitfully on the cold hard tile floor. Her eyes were closed and she was curled up in a ball wither her face resting on her knees.

There was a but when she came to after the Division agents put her in the room she just went to the farthest corner and curled up into a ball. Normally, anyone else who had shot another Division agent, especially Ryan, would have been immediately been locked up in a cell on the detention level. However, it had been decided that the bench in the prison cell probably wasn't the best place for her given her condition. There was no doubt about her pregnancy now. One could clearly see the distinct bump that had formed.

She looked so young, lying there on her side with tear streaks on her face and no make-up on her face. Sean moved to go into the room but a pressure on his arm stopped him. He turned to see Owen holding him back.

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you." Owen said.

"But you're not me." Sean said harshly and yanked his arm free from Owen and opened the door.

Alex's head popped up at the sound, as if she hadn't been sleeping at all. She looked up and as her eyes saw Sean she simply grabbed her head and started sobbing again.

"No. No God please stop. He's not real. He's dead. He's not there. Sean's dead. Ryan shot him. Ryan killed Sean. That isn't Sean." She just kept repeating those phrases over and over again as she rocked herself back and forth on the floor.

"Alex I'm not dead. I'm right here. I'm fine. Everything is going to be fine. You're safe now; it's going to be okay." Sean said softly as he went to kneel down next to her. She only crawled back farther toward the wall, getting as far away from this horrific trick as she possibly could.

"No! Sean's dead! Stop it, just stop! Please…oh God please stop." Alex cried, her breath ragged and uneven as she shouted.

Sean backed away and then stood and ran out of the room. He slammed the door behind him and leaned up against it and slammed his eyes shut. He tried to flush out the images of her so broken from his mind. Sean opened his eyes once he felt hands on his shoulders. He looked up to see Owen looking at him with sympathy in his eyes.

"It's going to take some time Sean. Amanda really messed with her head. She's not herself right now." Owen said, trying to comfort Sean.

"I thought…I thought I could make her see I was still here and then….then it would be okay." Sean said trying to keep himself from crying.

Owen nodded. He understood Sean's motives. It was hurting everyone to see Alex in so much pain, especially when the root of her pain was just one of Amanda's mind games.

Alex had been knocked unconscious when they had taken her from the armory floor and then brought to medical to be examined. They checked her vitals and examined her for any physical wounds. They didn't find anything except a couple injection sites on her forearms. They also found a small ear bud in her left ear. Her toxicology results came back to reveal a strong hallucinogen was in her system as well. Michael identified it as a drug Amanda had always used to manipulate the dreams and unconscious states of some of the recruits in order to get information from them. Michael recalled her using it on Alex just about two years earlier. However this particular type had been improved to work even when the person was lucid. They figured out that Amanda had been manipulating Alex's thoughts to believe that she had seen Ryan kill Sean which was why she in turn had shot Ryan.

Ryan didn't blame Alex for the state of his arm. There was no way that he could even be angry at her for the pain her was in after seeing her in such a tragic mental state. He said that the only person to blame for this messed up situation was Amanda.

Sean dropped to the floor and leaned up against the wall. Owen understood that Sean was going to stay there, needed to stay there, for a while more, so Owen left and began to head back to his room.

"How is she?" Owen turned to see Irina leaning against the wall behind him.

"The same." He said sadly. Irina nodded.

"She'll get past this. She's a fighter." Irina said with confidence. It was Owen's turn to nod in agreement.

"I know that. Sean knows that too. It's just hard seeing her so confused and hurt." Owen said.

"You know, if Amanda ever got to you like that, I'd be just like Sean. I wouldn't stop fighting to get you back either." Irina said softly. Owen smiled at that.

"Glad to hear it. I've got you back too. Or I guess it would be your head." Owen said trying to lighten the mood. Irina smiled back but it didn't reach her eyes.

* * *

"We've got to fix this." Nikita said for the tenth time that hour. She was stalking back and forth in the deserted Operations room.

"Honestly I think the best thing we can do is wait. She'll come around eventually." Michael said from a chair nearby. Nikita turned and glared at him.

"Wait? We tried waiting last time Michael. And what happened when we did that? Amanda got us within our own wall!" Nikita yelled getting tired of Michael's lack of action.

"She didn't get what she came for though and we got Alex back." Michael said trying to comfort Nikita.

"Did we really get her back? Look at her! That girl is nothing but an empty shell of who Alex was." Nikita said down and put her head in her hands.

"She'll get there. We'll make sure of that. She just needs a little help." Michael put a soothing hand on Nikita's shoulder.

"I just hate Amanda so much. I wish I had killed her when I had the chance."

"We're all kicking ourselves for letting her live." Michael added.

"I think we've underestimated the lengths she will go to hurt us." Nikita said.

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. You know, I think we need a new approach." Michael said, his one hand going toward his chin in contemplation.

"Michael we've chased her down, baited her, and ignored her. All of those options have left us with losses. What other ways are there?" Nikita asked, exhausted.

"We forgive her." Michael said soundly and looked up to see Nikita's reaction. As expected, she was looking at him like he had five heads.

"Forgive her? She has killed so many people just trying to get to me. She has hurt everyone that I love in ways that can never be undone and you want to forgive her?" Nikita said appalled at the suggestion.

"Yes. I've known Amanda for twelve years now-"

"Ari knew her for twenty, look where that got him." Nikita cut Michael off.

"Before you came here," Michael continued ignoring Nikita's interruption, "I thought Amanda was just a heartless robot whose only goal was to meddle with minds and interrogate prisoners."

"And look you were right." Nikita said. Michael glared at her and Nikita put her hands up in surrender to signify she would stop interrupting him.

"But the day she met you I saw something change in her. It was like she actually had emotions. After every training exercise she would check in to see how you did. She constantly called you into her office after every one of your missions. She seemed to have a need to know how everything was going with you constantly."

"She's obsessed with me. We already knew this."

"But we don't know why. I have a feeling that if we find that out, we'll finally be able to rid ourselves of her for good." Michael said.

"Then what happens after that? Throw her a party for being such a crazy bitch?"

"We forgive her, and I have a feeling that if we do that, after presenting all her skeletons before her, she'll put an end to this."

"I still think killing her is a better plan." Nikita said.

"Of course it is, but we haven't been exactly successful with that one yet." Michael smirked. Nikita just smiled and shook her head.

* * *

"Seymour when was the last time that you checked the inventory from medical?" Sonya asked coming toward his desk with a clipboard in her hand.

"Uh, last month like I was supposed to." He answered hoping he wasn't about to get in trouble, again.

"This is your report right?" Sonya tilted the clipboard over so that he could see. He briefly scanned the documents.

"Yeah that's it why?"

"It appears that we're missing some things since last. That's not unusual of course but one item did stand out."

"What is it?"

"The supply of Sobelex that we had is missing." Sonya said giving Birkhoff a concerned look.

"You don't think that Alex ….." Birkhoff let the question there.

"Of course not. In her state, I'm surprised she's even eaten." Sonya said.

"Then who would've stolen…..our medical intruder friend." Birkhoff realized.

"That's what I was thinking, yes."

"But when? Ever since Alex relapsed medical is always being watched. There would have always been someone there unless….."

"Unless we were on emergency protocol where everyone was in Operations." Sonya deduced.

"So there was someone else the night that Alex broke in to Division. In fact, Alex probably was just a distraction just like all the Dirty Thirty attacks that day."

"Amanda's whole plan was meant for her to get the Sobelex. What I can't figure out is why." Sonya said.

"I have an idea about that. Sorry I was listening, I just had to get away for a little while." Sean said walking out from the shadows.

"I understand man. How is she?" Birkhoff asked.

"No different. Anyway you were saying Amanda's whole plan was to get the …..What do you call it…Sobelex?" Sean asked,

"Yes. You said you thought you knew why?" Sonya asked.

"Alex mentioned, or I guess she let it slip that she was taking that after I left. She had to have been taking it for a couple weeks at least in order for her to be so unstable for Michael to notice. Now I'm no pharmacist or anything and I don't really know if this could happen but Sobelex is supposed to be a pain killer right?"

"That's the main function I know of at least." Birkhoff said.

"Right so what if it didn't just kill the pain?" Sean asked his voice wary.

"What are you saying?" Sonya asked.

"I'm saying what if instead of just stopping the pain, it healed the injury. And if it could do that then maybe it could heal really old wounds like ….."

"Like damaged reproductive systems." Birkhoff caught on to where Sean was headed. Sean just nodded.

"It could do that I guess. I mean anything is possible and a drug that could heal what is thought to be permanent damage would be worth millions." Birkhoff added.

"That would be the reason Amanda would want it. She must have realized what it did when she had Alex the first time and then she needed her again to confirm the results and get scientific data for any potential buyers. Once she had that all she needed was the drug so she could reproduce it." Sonya said.

"So what do we do now?" Sean asked.

"Now we use this new information to track her down and stop her once and for all." Birkhoff said.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Sorry this is such a short chapter after the previous chapters but I think I have a better idea of where I'm going now so they will get longer again soon.**

All of Division was silent. It was an eerie hush that floated down the halls covering everything in its path. There just seemed to be no reason to make any sound at such a late time at night.

Irina walked down the hall long after everyone else had gone to bed. It had been five days since Alex was found in the Division armory and Sean was still leaning against the door that led into her room. It seemed like he never left his spot on the floor, guarding her room night and day. Irina silently stepped by him, opened the door and stepped in.

Alex's head shot up and she stared at the intruder of her solitude, her eyes adjusting to the brightness of the motion sensitive lights.

"Irina." Alex said when she was finally able to see who it was.

"Alexandra." Irina knew she was already testing the waters with only a foot in the door by using Alex's true name instead of the one Irina had always called her.

"How are you?" Irina asked. She didn't go any farther into the room; she just sat down next to the door.

"Tired. Confused. Tired of being confused." She admitted. It was the most she had said in nearly two days.

Since her initial freak out when Sean first came into her room after on the first day no one else had come in except for the random Division agent that would give her food three times a day. Alex hadn't said anything or made any changes since then either. Irina thought it was time someone else took the first step instead of waiting on Alex to just snap out of it.

"Sean's not dead." Irina hoped she wasn't rushing things by bringing that up but Alex's blank face gave her hope.

"I know. It took a while to sort that out but I know now that he's okay. Ryan didn't shoot him because Sean wasn't even there. I shot Ryan though, that part is true." Alex said in a monotone voice, just stating the fact as though they held no meaning.

"He's forgiven you. It was just a graze and he understands why."

"Maybe, but he's still afraid. They all are. I can't be trusted. Amanda ruined any chance of that." Alex spat out.

"Yes, they're afraid but not _of_ you. They're afraid for you. They don't really know what Amanda is planning, especially after the found out her role in your pregnancy." That got Alex to look up at Irina instantly her eyes wide. Her face then clouded over and her expression darkened.

"What did they find out?" Alex asked now staring at the floor, or glaring at it more like.

"Well it's not really a role in it I guess, more like what she's planning on using the fact that it exists at all for." Irina clarified. Alex turned her eyes to Irina, a glint of hope suddenly in them.

"What do you mean?" Alex asked.

"Well once they found out that the Sobelex was what repaired your reproductive system they understood why Amanda stole it from Division. She was just using you as a distraction that night but she had kept you all those weeks to study your development." Irina explained.

"You mean…You mean she didn't have anything to do with me getting pregnant?" Alex asked.

"No it was all you and Sean. Well I guess the Sobelex helped too. Probably the only time a relapse actually turned out for the better."

Alex turned back to the wall and a small smile grew on her face until she was all out beaming, and then the tears came and her body shook.

"Oh Sasha I didn't mean to upset you. I knew this wasn't a good idea. I never should have come in here. I …..Wait, are you laughing?" Irina asked confused at her friend's reaction.

"I'm pregnant!" Alex shouted happily. "I'm pregnant and Amanda had nothing to do with it." She couldn't stop smiling.

Sean woke with a start and had no idea why until her heard Alex's voice shout from the room behind him. He immediately got up and rushed in to the room to make sure she was alright. He was shocked to see Irina in the room but what really stopped him in his tracks was the smile on Alex's face. It was a look he was beginning to think he was never going to see again.

All of the sudden Alex was in his arms hugging him for dear life. Her changed body shape made him have to adjust his grip, but he hugged her back all the same.

"I love you." Alex whispered in Sean's ear as they embraced. Irina smiled at the couple and quietly left the room.

Alex pulled back and looked up at Sean her smile still in place. Sean couldn't help but smile back down at her.

"I know. I love you too." Sean said back.

"We're really having a baby. You believe me now don't you?" Alex asked, her smile faltering a bit.

"Are you sure? I thought you had just gotten fat since you've been gone." Sean joked trying to hold back the tears of joy he had from finally having Alex, his Alex, back in his arms. Alex saw beyond his humor though and pulled him into another hug.

"We're going to be okay Sean. Everything is going to be okay." She said.

"Shouldn't I be the one comforting you?" He said back.

"I'm done being the victim. Amanda's not going to be able to use me for anything anymore. I'm done with all of her games." Alex said with such conviction that Sean had no problem believing her. He nodded as they held each other.

"And she won't use our child for anything either. It's time we take her down. We need to end this once and for all. Alex added. Sean nodded again. He would die before he let Amanda hurt another person he loved.

"I'm done letting her get to me too. I'm not going to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder for her. This ends now." Sean said.

"Sean, can we sleep in our bed tonight?" Alex asked biting her tongue in that way that Sean loved.

"I would love nothing more." He said and he guided her out of the room she had been in for nearly a week. He looked back into the room vowing that Amanda would never have such control over Alex, or himself for that matter every again.

* * *

"Amanda we have a problem." Andrea said as she came into Amanda's office. She blew a stray hair from her face and huffed. She hated Belize. The heat was unbearable and the humidity was suffocating. She wanted nothing more than to be back in New York or hell back home in England but Amanda called the shots, for now.

"Why does it seem like that is all you ever tell me? What's wrong now?" Amanda asked getting annoyed with Andrea's presence more by every passing second.

"The drug didn't seem to be acting as I thought."

"What do you mean? You had Alex for three weeks and she progressed just as you first expected when we came up with this hypothesis. What could possibly go wrong?" Amanda interrupted, getting annoyed.

"The drug wasn't healing the subjects in the same way it did for the Udinov girl so I did a compositional diagnosis of our manufactured copy verses the original to see if there were any discrepancies when I noticed something."

"Would you get to the point Andrea?" Amanda asked.

"It's nothing more than a placebo." Andrea said.

"Addicts don't get high off placebos. It couldn't have had such an effect on her since no one knew the effects it was supposed to have anyway." Amanda explained as if Andrea was an imbecile.

"I know that, and I'm not saying that what she took was a placebo. I'm saying what we have here is just a sugar pill."

"What are you saying?"

"What I'm saying is that we weren't the first ones to realize Sobelex's true potential. Someone else got there first."


	21. Chapter 21

"It's been quiet lately. Too quiet." Owen said from his slouched position in a chair in Ops. Birkhoff looked up at him from his computer and glared at him.

"Why would you say something like that?" He asked.

"What? It's been nearly two weeks and we haven't had a mission, no word on Amanda, and the remaining members of the Dirty Thirty haven't made a peep. I'm all for some time to relax but for us that usually means bad things are coming soon."

"Well aren't you an optimist." Birkhoff turned back to his screen trying to ignore Owen's presence.

The silence between them remained until Alex walked in. She had made a complete recovery over the last couple weeks but her presence still made everyone else cautious, as if they would cause her to breakdown again with a single comment. Alex saw what was going on and it was beginning to get on her nerves. However, that wasn't her first concern.

"Hey, have either of you two seen Sean?" She asked as she walked up to the two men.

"Can't help you princess." Birkhoff said without looking up. Alex was glad at least Birkhoff was still treating her the same way, even if that meant he was kind of a jerk most of the time.

"Hey what time is it?" Owen asked, ignoring Alex's question. He got up and looked at Birkhoff's screen for the time. "I gotta go. See you later guys." He said as he rushed out of the room.

"That was weird." Alex said watching Owen leave, noting how he didn't answer her.

"It's Owen." Birkhoff said, as if that explained everything. Alex had to agree that it sort of did.

"What are you up to?" Alex asked Birkhoff, putting off her search for Sean for a few minutes.

"Tracking a strange signal that seems to be coming from within Division."

Alex bit her tongue, considering what she was about to say, and then thought that the sooner the better.

"It's probably Amanda's camera signal." She said.

"It's what?" Birkhoff said as he stopped typing and looked up at her.

"She has cameras in here. At least on her level. That's why I was so scared to disobey her when she sent me here. I knew she could see me and know what I was doing at all times. I guess after we caught her mole who was watching Sonya she must have had cameras installed."

"And you didn't think to mention this sooner?" Birkhoff asked.

"I had a lot on my mind." Alex said with a pointed glare. Birkhoff rolled his eyes and got up from his chair.

"Alright then, show me the evil queen's magic mirror." He said as he went toward the elevator.

"Mirrors. I'm pretty sure she had more than one." Alex said stepping in next to him.

"Great." He said sarcastically back.

* * *

"You need to check in with your girlfriend man." Owen said as he walked toward Sean.

"Did you say anything to her?" Sean asked worried that Owen hadn't kept his word about keeping Sean's secret affairs to himself.

"No, I just made some lame excuse to leave the room. You know how bad I am at lying." Owen said.

"Yeah you made the best call by walking away." Michael said coming up from behind them.

"You sure you want to do this? I mean she could be really pissed at you. You know how much she hates keeping secrets." Owen said looking before him.

"Yeah maybe this isn't such a good idea." Sean said looking a little dejected.

"No. It's a great idea. She'll be thrilled. You're doing a good thing Sean." Michael said with a supporting tap on his shoulder.

"Alright, yeah let's do this. You two get that end and help me get this up the stairs." Sean said as he went to lift the front end of a very heavy box.

* * *

"Here's the first one I noticed when I got out of her secret passageway." Alex said pointing up to the corner of the corridor right across from the door that led to Amanda's old studio.

Birkhoff pointed a small laser light up at it to get a view and then he hit a button and the laser melted the camera.

"Where can I get one of those?" Alex asked as she looked on with a little bit of awe.

"Nowhere, it's a Shadow walker original. Only one in the world." Birkhoff said with a smirk.

"So you got it on eBay for way too much money?" Alex asked returning his smile.

"At least more than I'm admitting to you. Damn Nigeriagrl417." He said with a huff and kept walking.

"I think Amanda only has them on this level but we should keep looking on the other ones to make sure."

"Alright let's go." They both walked down the halls inspecting every nick and cranny looking for anything out of place.

* * *

Two hours later, after finding nearly sixty different cameras on each and every level of Division Alex began to head back to her room. She was exhausted and her back was starting to hurt. Pregnancy was nowhere near as glamorous as the movies made it seem like.

Besides her back though, Alex was also a little upset that she hadn't heard or seen Sean all day. He had been disappearing on and off for the last week never saying where he was or where he had been. Alex didn't want to be the type of girlfriend who had to know all the details of her boyfriend's life, but after a week of such strange behavior she was starting to wonder. HE wasn't cheating on her, she knew that. After all who could he possibly cheat on her with without someone within Division finding out and telling her? Unless Owen knew and he was covering for Sean. That would explain his strange behavior this morning. Just as her head started coming up with even more scenarios, Alex saw Nikita up ahead coming out of her and Sean's room.

"Hey I was just looking for you." Nikita said as she came closer.

"What's up?"

"Have you seen Michael at all today?" Nikita asked.

"No. Maybe he's off with some whore like Sean." Alex huffed and walked passed Nikita too her room. Great now Michael was in on it too. Whatever _it_ was.

"Whoa, what?" Nikita asked following Alex to the room. Alex just collapsed on the bed as soon as she got close enough. Her feet were killing her too.

"I don't know. Sean's been acting all weird and evasive all week and now I haven't seen or heard from him all day. Then Owen just ran off when I asked him if he had seen Sean. Besides Birkhoff, it seems like all the guys in here are in on some secret." Alex explained, her back lying on the mattress.

"Have you tried calling Sean?" Nikita asked sitting down on the bed next to her friend.

"Yes, four times, but he never answered and then I found his phone in here." Alex said holding up Sean's phone that she had picked up from the bedside table.

"So you can't even track it." Nikita said.

"I shouldn't have to track his phone to get in touch with him. What if something happened and I couldn't reach him? It's like he doesn't even care." Alex's voice started to crack a bit.

"Oh hey sweetie it's going to be fine. Of course he cares. I'm sure you'll hear from him soon." Nikita tried to comfort Alex. Alex just sat up and wiped at her face.

"No, I'm not going to cry. Hormones be damned. I'm done with all this emotional crap. Sean can go off and do whatever he wants. I don't care." She said but sounded more like she was trying to convince herself than Nikita.

Just then Sean stepped in the room with a towel at his neck looking as if he had just showered.

"I'll leave you two alone." Nikita said as she left.

"Hey." Sean said and he went to the drawer to look for some clothes.

"Hey? I don't hear from you all day and all you say is hey?" Alex yelled.

"How are you doing?" Sean asked ignoring her outburst.

"I'm annoyed for one." Alex huffed.

"I kind of got that." Sean said. Still shuffling around in his drawer.

"Argh!" Alex growled and put up her hands as if to strangle him. She then walked out of the room.

"Alex wait!" Sean called after her, following her into the hall. She turned around her eyes blazing with rage.

"Hey relax I'm just kidding around. I was just with the guys working out okay." Sean explained.

"Yeah right. Then why did you need to leave your phone here? You were probably with your little call girl getting it on." She said crossing her arms over her chest.

"My what?" Sean asked trying to hide his smile, but failing miserably.

"Your hooker, slut, whore, concubine! Take your pick. You probably just got back from the shower trying to wash her scent off of you." Alex yelled. Sean just continued to smile but then her turned around and walked back into their room.

"Hey don't walk away when I'm talking to you!" Alex said following him. Before she even reached the door Sean was there holding one of his long black socks.

"Tie this around your eyes." He said pushing forward the sock.

"What? I'm not putting that anywhere near my face." Sean tilted his head as if to say, _Come on. _Alex rolled her eyes and did what he asked.

"If anything happens to me you'll be sorry." Alex said from behind her blindfold. She couldn't see a thing, she just felt Sean's large hands on her shoulders guiding her around.

"I definitely will be." He said back.

* * *

After what felt like hours, but was actually only around fifteen minutes the car they were in finally stopped.

"Thank God." Alex went to tug the blind fold down but was stopped by Sean's hands.

"Not yet." He said, and Alex listened to the sound of the car door open and close and then heard her own door open.

"Now come on give me your hands." Sean slowly guided Alex down to the ground.

He gently guided her forward and then stopped her.

"Now you can take off the sock." Sean said still holding on to Alex's shoulders.

Alex pulled down the sock and let her eyes adjust to the daylight. Once she could see what was before her she stood stock still, her eyes widening in shock.

"It's not the one we had picked out, but it's very similar and this one is only a short distance from Division so for the time being we're still close to everyone else." Sean said.

Alex was still silent. She stared before her. It was a house. A beautiful old Victorian style two floor house. There were freshly planted flowers in the front and white wooden porch swing. The house itself was a pale green with white trim. It looked to be newly built but still with enough character to be special.

"So what do you think?" Sean asked, getting a little nervous from Alex's silence. _You were wrong after all Michael, you bastard._

"It's perfect." She said with awe.

"There's more." Sean said pulling Alex forward into the house with new found excitement.

He led her through the door and up a beautiful wooden staircase and down the hall.

"Okay so this isn't completely finished yet but since you were so anxious to know what I was doing, here you go."

Sean opened a door to reveal a simple bright room with a beautiful bay window that lit up the whole space. Inside there were three pieces of plain wooden furniture. A crib, a changing table and a rocking chair.

"I figured we could paint and varnish everything once we found out the gender of the baby next week." Sean said.

"It's a nursery. A nursery, for our baby, in our house." Alex finally spoke. She turned and looked at Sean with a huge smile.

"I figured we should actually by the house before the baby came, you know." Sean said as he started to look a little sheepish. Alex just laughed and then went to hug him tightly.

"I totally regret all those fantasies I had of castrating you." She said softly in his ear.

"Wait, your fantasies to what?"


	22. Chapter 22

"So you want to get married?" Sean shouted over the harsh sounds of gunfire and explosions. Alex moved quickly, or at least as fast as she could manage in her nearly four and a half month pregnant state, around the nearest corner for cover.

"You're asking me this now?" Alex asked incredulously. Sean always seemed to have the worst timing.

_48 Hours Earlier_

"We need something to delay them. They destroyed all my cameras and now I have no eyes Division within. I think it's time for another distraction." Amanda said looking at her blank computer screen that used to show her all the halls and rooms in Division.

"What did you have in mind?" Andrea asked. She also wanted to know how Amanda planned to get herself out of this problem.

Without any product to show after nearly three weeks of claiming to have a life changing drug, the investors were getting anxious. Then Division found the cameras and they were now blind as to the happening down there. If Amanda didn't act soon they would be fighting a two frontal war; a war that they would never be able to get out unscathed, let alone win.

"A mutiny. It's time that all the people in Division saw their "saviors" as they really are. Nikita claimed she was going to save them, but in truth all she has done has gotten nearly all of them killed and kept those still living as prisoners within Division's walls. Yes, a mutiny will do nicely." Amanda smirked.

* * *

"I can't believe we're going to find out the gender tomorrow." Sean said his hand e=gently grazing over Alex's growing stomach.

They were both lying down in their new bed in their new house too excited to actually sleep.

"Do you have a preference?" Alex asked him.

"I feel like I wouldn't know what to do with a boy, honestly." Sean admitted. He wouldn't go so far as to say that he hoped for a little girl. He would love the baby either way, but after being surrounded around woman all his life, he didn't think he would be good at raising a boy.

"I don't think that I would know what to do with a girl." Alex said. It wasn't that she thought that a little girl would be weak; after all Alex knew plenty of very strong women in her life. However, the thought of her daughter having to go through such tragedies to gain that strength broke her heart just thinking about it. A boy would be much simpler.

"Well I guess either way we'll have each other to help figure it out." Sean said.

"Do you have any names in mind?" Alex asked as she rolled over in an attempt to see his face.

"I know you two didn't really get along, but I would really like to name the baby partially after my mother." He admitted. Alex gave him a supportive smile.

"Of course. I understand completely, I would like to do the same thing for my father if the baby is a boy. But I don't really want to name him Nikolai." Alex said.

"Too Russian?" Sean asked, wondering why she would want to change the name.

"No, I'm proud of my Russian heritage, but despite how much I loved my father, he was not a good man. I wouldn't want to give a baby the burden of my father's past. I've had to carry that my whole life already." She admitted.

"I get that. My mother wasn't the best person either, and when you put it like that, I guess I wouldn't want to subject our kid to my mother's legacy either. Besides there already was a Madeline Pierce." He said, reconsidering his choice.

"So where does that leave us now?" Alex asked.

"I have an idea. How about we take my parents' names and make them Russian and take your parents' names and make them American and then we see if we like any of them." Sean suggested.

"Okay, I have Katherine and Nicholas. What about you?" Alex asked.

"I have no idea. I don't speak Russian." Sean said smiling.

"Uhhg, even with your idea I have to do all the work. Well Mason translates to каменщик, so I don't think you want that. Then Madeline translates to Мэдлин which as you can tell sounds very similar." Alex laughed when she saw Sean's grimace.

"What's wrong? It was you who wanted Russian names in the first place." Alex said not being able to contain her smile.

"Yeah but I also want to be able to pronounce my kid's name." He said looking conflicted.

"Madeline is a good name Sean, no matter what your mother has done. How about we stick with the English versions?"

"Okay but Katherine Madeline is a horrible name. How does Katya Madeline sound?" Sean suggested.

"Perfect. I love it. Katya Madeline or Nicholas Mason Pierce." Alex said, however Sean didn't look as convinced about the second name.

"Well my name is Sean Mason Pierce so how about Nikolas Michael Pierce? Nikolas should have a 'k' too, that way we can sort of name him after Nikita. We could also name a girl Katya Michelle Pierce." Sean sheepishly suggested.

"That sounds even better." Alex said smiling up at him. "But we won't know we're going to call it if we don't get to bed soon so we can wake up for the appointment in….five hours." Alex said glancing at the clock on the bedside table.

Sean nodded, leaned over Alex to turn off the light and then kissed her on her forehead before he lied down.

* * *

"So how did it go?" Sonya asked anxiously as Alex and Sean walked into Division after their appointment.

"The doctor wasn't a division agent for one." Sean said hardly containing his smile.

"Alex how'd it go?" Sonya asked her instead hoping she would stop holding off.

"It went well. I'm at four and a half months and everything is going well, the doctor said." Also smiling, knowing exactly what they were doing to poor Sonya.

"Oh will two quit it and tell us if it's a boy or girl already!" Birkhoff yelled at them.

Alex looked up at Sean and smirked and then pulled out an ultrasound photo from her purse.

"Say hello to Nikolas Michael Pierce." She said presenting the picture.

"Oh he's adorable!" Sonya gushed looking at the black and white photo.

"Adorable?" It's an alien." Birkhoff said looking over Sonya's shoulder.

"Hey! That's my son you're talking about." Alex said pulling back the picture before there were any more insults.

"It's okay, that's what I said when I first saw him too." Sean said smirking. Alex elbowed him the gut.

"Nikolas _Michael _huh?" Michael said with an eyebrow up, but he was smiling a little bit.

"Yeah I hope you don't mind." Alex said.

"It's a wonderful name Alex, for a wonderful baby." Nikita said smiling as well.

All the sudden the screens in Ops when black and then came back on with Amanda smiling from each and every one.

"Birkhoff are you seeing this?" Ryan asked rushing out from his office.

"I got it." Birkhoff answered rushing to his terminal. "Dammit she locked me out of the system! Sonya?"

"On it." Sonya joined him in attempting to shut Amanda down.

"Hello Division. It's good to see you all again. But then again it's not all of you from last time is it? So many of you have been sacrificed in the last few months. And for what? To stop me? I have nothing against you. My quarrel is not with you, it's with Nikita. Your quarrel should not be with me either, it should also be with Nikita. After all isn't she the one who has promised you freedom? Isn't she the one who promised to not treat you like mindless sheep, whom she could sent out to slaughter whenever it pleased her? And yet everyday more of you die. You die not trying to shut Division down, like you had thought, but instead fighting to line Nikita and Ryan's pockets as they try and keep it open. Oh did you not know? The missions they send you on aren't after rouge agents that threaten your future, their after American politicians and civil service members who threaten you now. You shouldn't have to die for a cause you never signed up to serve. It is the time to rebel against Nikita and get the freedom you rightly deserve."

The screen then went black but it was too late. Amanda had gotten her message out and there was no holding back all the angry agents who turned to look at their supposed leader. But where were they leading them really?

Alex cast a nervous look at Sean before running down to the armory as fast as she could.

_Present_

"I thought it was romantic. With guns blazing and all. After all it's just like when I asked you out on a date the first time!" Sean yelled back quickly running to the corner where Alex was.

"I only have six bullets left." Alex said looking down at the pistol in her hand.

"Answer me." Sean said never letting his gaze drift from Alex's eyes.

"Sean! Do you not see what is going on around us?" Alex screeched.

"Answer me." He said again, steadily.

"Yes,okay! Yes, I'll marry you. Now let's get out of here!"

Sean's face broke out in a brilliant smile and he pulled out a fully loaded gun from his jacket pocket, took the gun from Alex's hand, kissed her fully on the lips and stood up. He then walked forward, guns blazing and cleared a path for them to freedom.


	23. Chapter 23

Sean plowed through a wooden door that finally led them out of Division. They ended up in the basement of the farm, leaving a trail of dead bodies behind them. The sight of all the fallen agents would be one that would haunt them for the rest of their lives.

"We have to go back." Alex breathed heavily, finally stopping after running after Sean.

"What?" Sean asked looking incredulously at Alex. He too was bent over his knees trying to catch his breath.

"They're all still in there. Irina, Owen, Ryan, Birkhoff, Sonya, Michael, Nikita. We can't just leave them in there to get slaughtered." Alex explained.

Sean stretched back his head in exasperation and a slight bit of exhaustion as well, but then he nodded.

"Alright, alright I'll go back. But you're staying here." He said steadily staring her down.

"Sean I can't just stay on the sidelines-" Alex started to say but Sean cut her off.

"Yes, you can. And you will, because I can't go in there and help anyone if I think even for a second that you're in harms way. Please stay here, or even better go home. Be safe, I'll get everyone else. Please ." Sean practically begged.

Alex had to fight her desperate need to help, had to fight every instinct in her body that told her to join the fight, because she knew that Sean was right. She would only get everyone else hurt; and for the first time in her life her safety didn't just affect her anymore. Alex nodded and took a step back signifying to Sean she wouldn't fight him on this.

He smiled gratefully and then headed back to the door from which he came. He took out the gun he had used to get them out and checked to see how much ammo he had left. Damn. Two shots. He had to be careful or else…Sean steeled his expression and gave a reassuring look over his shoulder at Alex as he opened the door. Letting her know that he was scared wouldn't help anyone.

"I'll see you soon. I love you." He said.

"I love you too." She said trying not to make it seem like a goodbye. She saw the fear behind his eyes that he was trying to hide, but tried to ignore the sinking feeling in her gut that it created.

* * *

"Hey what's going on?" Owen asked as he noticed all the commotion in the halls as he walked away from the gym. Agents were running right and left, and almost all of them were armed. Before anyone responded to his question he felt an arm tug him backwards and then he felt a pick in his neck.

All the sudden the world went black around him.

"Ahrg Ahhh!" Owen awoke with a start grabbing his head trying desperately to stop the excrutiating pain shooting from within it.

"Owen! Owen are you hurt?" Irina asked kneeling down next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Owen breathed in and out slowly trying to control the pain. It subsided but was replaced by a thousand thoughts all running through his mind at once. _Owen? Who was …..oh._ He remembered. Everything. The only thing he couldn't remember was how he ended up on the training room floor. He didn't know how or why his memories decided to all come flooding back in, but he wasn't about to question it.

"I remember." Owen said unable to contain the revelations that he was experiencing.

"You remember what?" Irina asked. Owen quickly looked up; he had forgotten she was even there.

"My past, my life as Sam, all of it." He said, his voice barely constraining his excitement.

"Really? You do? That's- Uhhg!" Irina quickly fell to the floor when the sound of gunfire came thundering down the hallway as another group of agents came through. "Well that's all fine and well, but we really need to get out of here!" She said grabbing him by the arm and pulling his arm and tugging him under the staircase to hide.

However, not too long after the gunfire started, it stopped. A lone set of footsteps echoed down the halls coming closer which each second.

"Hello?" A voice called out. It was Sean!

"Sean! We're here!" Irina called out stepping out from under the stairs.

"Whose we?" He questioned stepping forward.

"Owen and I. Where's your gun?" Irina asked noticing that man before her was unarmed.

"I always was better in hand to hand combat. Hey are you alright there?" Sean asked noticing how pale Owen was as he followed Irina out of their hiding spot.

"I'm fine. Where's Alex?" Owen asked ignoring the sick feeling he had growing throughout it body.

"She's safe; hopefully heading back to the house. I came back to get save the rest of you." Sean said grinning a little bit. Owen just scoffed.

"We were doing just fine on our own. Who else are we looking for?" Owen asked.

"Nikita, Ryan, Michael, Birkhoff, and Sonya. They were all in Ops when this started but my only focus was to get Alex out; I have no idea where any of them went." Sean said.

"What about Ryan's office?" Irina suggested.

"Yeah, Ryan is the only one who has access there." Owen said.

"Alright let's head out." Sean said and he led the way.

* * *

"We can't stay in here forever." Michael said pacing back and forth in front of Ryan's desk.

"Yeah, but neither can they. They'll want to go and get their freedom long before we'll need to leave." Birkhoff said.

"This is absolute chaos." Ryan said rubbing his face with his one good arm.

"It looks like Amanda finally got what she wanted." Sonya said, resigned.

"Did she though? I mean what does she accomplish by all of this? Sure we can't save Division now, but the chances of that actually ever happening were diminishing by the hour. She has the Sobelex, what does she need to cause all this for?" Nikita asked, but she got no answer from the group in front of her, No one really understood Amanda's true motives for doing anything.

"Ryan? Nikita? Anyone in there?" A voice called out from beyond the door.

"That's Sean!" Sonya gasped, quickly getting up to let him in but was stopped by Birkhoff.

"Wait. It could be a trap. Sean when you were high as a kite in my last place, what did you think was awesome?…..Besides Alex." Birkhoff questioned.

"Seymour what kind of-"

"The cot! The cot I was laying on, I called it awesome. Can you let us in now?"

"Us who?"

"Owen, Irina, and I! Hurry up I hear more coming!" Sean shouted, getting impatient.

"Just open the door already." Michael said.

"Where's Alex?" Nikita asked noticing her missing friend as the rest of them stumbled in.

"Hopefully far away from this place." Sean said. "I came back to get the rest of you."

"Well some rescue boy scout. Did you even bring any extra guns?" Birkhoff asked.

"I didn't really need any to get back in here and there are only a few really dedicated agents still out looking for you, Ryan. They all blame you and Nikita for all of this. Most of them though just ran for the hills when they got the chance. I say we find back way out, one the agents don't know about and get out of here. We should take Amanda's path, that's how I got Alex out." Sean said.

"That's still two floors away." Ryan said.

"And a couple hallways. It won't be easy I know, but it's the only chance we've got."

"What are we waiting for then? Let's stop hiding and go!" Nikita decided.

* * *

Alex tapped her foot nervously against the tile floor of the kitchen in the farm. It had felt like hours since Sean had left. He had told her to go home but she couldn't motivate herself to leave. There was no chance she was leaving him behind. All the sudden she heard the door in the basement open. She stood up and looked toward it, hoping it was Sean.

Instead of Sean there was shocked and scared looking man staring at her as he stepped out from behind the door.

"Hi." He said.

"Hello. How did you get here?" Alex asked. No agents were informed about Amanda's passageway.

"It was an accident. I was just running away since I don't really blame anyone for me being in Division other than well…me. The others, they don't really agree with me on that so you can guess what they think of me." He shrugged his shoulders.

"A traitor." Alex said, still warily watching this man. Division agents were trained how to effectively lie to get themselves out of any situation, but if this man was lying he was damn good at it. The man nodded.

"Yeah. I was never really close with anyone in there. I just completed my missions and lived my life. So listen, I'm not looking for any trouble. Hopefully you can understand, with the chaos down there I don't see any reason to stay. Can you just pretend you never saw me? I promise I won't tell anyone about who I am. I know how to disappear." He said with eyes that were begging Alex. She nodded. Who was she to keep this man captive for just wanting to be free?

"Thank you so much! You won't regret this, in fact you'll never see me again I promise. Thanks again." He said and then ran off.

Just as the man disappeared from view Alex heard the door open again. This time Sean stumbled out along with everyone else behind him. Alex ran up to Sean and pulled him in close.

"I'm so glad you're okay." She said leaning in to him.

"Me too. What're you doing here? I thought you went home." Sean said.

"You know I couldn't leave."

"Alright this is great and everything but can we head out?" Owen asked, leaning heavily on the counter. Irina went to him giving him her shoulder to lean on instead.

"Yeah, let's debrief at our house." Sean said guiding everyone to the door.

* * *

"What are you doing here? You had explicit directions to never leave your post."

"Sorry boss, but Amanda started a riot. Everyone left; I wouldn't be much use in an empty old bunker now would I?" The agent said.

"No, I guess not. Did you at least follow protocol?" This "boss" said, sitting down and folding his hands together in a potting manner.

"Yes I injected Owen Eliot with the substance just as planned. Amanda's brain meddling should be broken down completely in a few days, but it will take its toll on him. Thank God I was finally able to do something. Watching isn't really my strong suit. Do you want me to keep following the Udinov girl? She saw my face when I went to escape. It won't be easy to keep tailing her, but I'll try." The agent said, but it was evident that he wasn't too keen on the idea.

"No. I have a new assignment for you." The man in charge handed him manila envelope. The agent laughed a little after reading its contents.

"Finally. When do leave?"

"Immediately."


	24. Chapter 24

"Are you alright?" Sean asked as he knelt before Alex as she sat on the couch. She looked worn and deathly pale.

"I'm fine. Just tired." She responded. Alex ignored the cold sheen of sweat that she could feel covering her body. The excitement from the day was finally taking its toll on her.

"I'm here if you need anything." Sean said, putting his hand on her cheek. She nodded into his palm.

"Well, well. Isn't this a nice place you got yourself princess. So, when am I getting my new place?" Birkhoff asked. Alex cracked a smile.

"The sooner the better. I don't really like houseguests." Sean said standing up.

"We just finished setting up a perimeter. No one will be able to get two hundred feet near the house without us knowing immediately." Sonya said coming in with Michael and Nikita.

"Alright let's gather round everyone and set a game plan." Ryan said coming into the living room followed by Owen and Irina.

"All the agents are rogue now, but with Division already disbanded the president isn't much of a threat. If they really want their freedom as much as they claim, they'll lay low and find a way to start new lives. I say we let them." Alex suggested.

"No wait we can't just-" Ryan started but was cut off by Nikita.

"No. We took over Division with the intention of shutting it down and stopping the president from killing all the innocent agents within it. With Amanda's unintentional assistance, we did that. We don't have to do any more jobs for the president, we don't have to do jobs to get money; it's over." Nikita said.

"So what do we do now?" Asked Birkhoff.

They all looked at each other. For many of them , they had lived everyday only looking forward to the next mission. The next assignment was all that they thought about. If they lived to see the next day, then that was the one thing they knew they could count on. But now, with Division gone, it was hard to even fathom what that meant.

"We're free. We do whatever we want to do." Alex said quietly, then she looked up and smiled at Sean.

* * *

"Hey, how's your head feeling?" Irina asked walking into the bedroom Owen was currently occupying.

"Better. The pain stopped not too long after I got a chance to sit down."

"Good. What exactly happened back there?" Irina asked sitting down on the bed next to him.

"I remember everyone running and getting guns but then it goes dark. When I came to there was a piercing pain in the back of my head and then all the memories I had of being another man came rushing back." Owen said reaching back to rub his neck.

"What do you remember? If you don't mind me asking."

"That's the thing, I remember, but the memories don't really make sense."

"What do you mean?"

"It's like there's two versions of the same story going on in my head. In one version I'm just another soldier. A low ranking volunteer with a normal childhood and normal upbringing. In the other I'm a leader. I'm in charge of all the others around me, commanding respect wherever I go. This version had a horrible childhood, but that's what made him into such a great leader. He would never let anyone be in charge of him again. These two versions just can't coexist together." Owen tried to explain the thoughts in his head that were starting to once again give him a headache.

"What version do you think is right?" Irina asked gently.

"Honestly? I'm not a leader. I think Amanda made those memories up to make me rebel against Nikita. Those memories just don't coincide with the type of person I feel like to myself. I'm a follower. I follow orders, not questioning why or for what, never thinking about the outcome, just doing my job. That's the man I am, and that's the type of man I always was. I didn't kill my friends like Amanda said I did. I shot other soldiers that were selling cocaine under the table. I caught them doing it and they thought that making sure I could never rat them out was a better way to deal with me than to just trust my word. I was only defending myself, I never meant to kill anyone." Owen said grabbing his head. The guilt for what he had done was overpowering.

"You're a good man Owen Eliot, and you always were. Don't let your past define you. Now that you know who you were, you can stop letting it haunt you." Irina said putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

* * *

"Hey what are you doing?" Alex asked leaning on the doorframe. Sean was before her rummaging through one of the many boxes they had yet to unpack that had seemed to have found a permanent residence on their bedroom floor. For two dead people they sure had a lot of stuff.

"Looking for something." He mumbled not taking his attention away from his task for a second.

"I can see that. What are you looking for?" Alex started to walk closer to him but just as she got close he jumped up.

"Aha!" Sean immediately hid whatever it was that he had been looking for behind his back and with one hand guided Alex to the bed.

"I admit my timing was pretty off, but I didn't want you think I was asking for the wrong reason. Alex, I love you, more than you will ever know. With the path that my life was taking I never thought that a day like today would come. But then I met you and I knew, one day, I would ask you to marry me. Your answer, I was never able to predict. Now here's a second chance to change your mind. I don't want a rushed answer, I want you to really think about what you're doing here. Don't do it for me, don't do it for the baby, and don't do it for any other reason other than it being what _you_ want. Alexandra Udinov," At this moment Sean knelt down on one knee, "Will you marry me?". He pulled out what was behind his hand and presented an open black box with a simple pear cut diamond ring on a white gold band.

Alex looked at Sean, who on his knees was exactly eye level with her, and smiled. She couldn't contain her emotions. _Damn hormones._

"My answer hasn't changed. Yes, Sean Mason Pierce, I will marry you." Alex said. Sean broke out in a matching grin and took her left hand in his and slipped the ring onto her ring finger. He then stood up and kissed her until they both fell backwards onto the bed.

* * *

_48 hours later_

"How was your trip?" The man asked his returning agent.

"Couldn't have gone better. I set up the manufacturers just like you ask and already we have buyers interested in this wonder drug. If I didn't see what It did for the Udinov girl with my own eyes I wouldn't have believed it, but know….well we'll be billionaires in less than a month now." The agent said with almost giddy excitement.

"And you took care of Mr. Eliot correct?"

"Yeah, I dealt with him back at Division. Amanda no longer has any chips left to play. You planned this perfectly boss. Speaking of plans, I distinctly remember a significant payment being at the end of this job. When do I get payed?"

"Right away. Don't worry Mr. Travers, I settle all of my debts." The man then opened the briefcase before him, and unbeknown to the man before him, pulled out a small pistol and then quickly raised the gun and shot the agent right in the forehead.

"Thank you for your services Mr. Travers they've been much appreciated. Roan, take care of this mess will you." Percy then wheeled away from the body.


	25. Chapter 25

"Finally." Sean said shutting the door as the last of their house guests left.

"I told you we needed a lot of bedrooms. Just imagine how these past few weeks would have been in that three bedroom house you wanted." Alex said picking up the pillow from the couch that Owen had used as a bed for the past month.

"I don't even want to think about that. I mean I like our friends plenty, but with only a week of having the house to ourselves and then having to share it with seven other full grown adults, I'm thrilled to finally have some peace and quiet."

"Well not for too long." Alex said patting her rather large stomach.

"Man it looks like you're carrying twins." Sean said putting his hand over Alex's.

"Excuse me?" Alex asked with a raised eyebrow. He did not just call her fat.

"I mean our son will be very healthy and he looks to be talking after me already." Sean tried to cover. Alex just rolled her eyes and walked away.

"So take a look at what Nikita got for us." Alex said pulling out a manila envelope. She then handed it to Sean. He opened it and read the documents before him.

"A driver's license, birth certificate, and social security card for a Shane Matthew Pearce. I look like a hobo." Sean said examining the license.

"You're the one who wanted to grow the beard." Alex said rubbing her hand against his rough jawline now covered in black hair.

"I had to change my appearance a little and I didn't think you would appreciate the bleach blonde look."

"Okay the beard can stay." Alex said shuddering at the thought. Sean as a blonde, no, just no.

"How come she didn't completely change my last name?"

"Well one day when we can finally reveal to your family that you're not dead and we have significant proof that you had nothing to do with Kendrick's death, I told Nikita I didn't want our son to have to get used to a new last name."

"Do you have a new identity too?" Sean asked, curious.

"I do." Alex said handing Sean another folder.

"Alexandra U. Pearce." He read.

"Alex is a common enough name that I figured we would be okay." Alex defended her choice.

"Only one problem. You and I aren't married yet." Sean said holding up a mocked up marriage certificate that was part of Alex's packet.

"Well that one is just for our aliases, who, according to the records in Brighton, California, have been married for three years. When we get married, our marriage certificate will have our real names on it." Alex explained.

Sean just smiled and leaned down to kiss Alex. "Good." He said.

"Now I have to go out and get a job." Sean said.

"One with health insurance and dental preferably."

Sean shook his head but still had a smile on his face.

"What?" Alex asked.

"We just sound so domestic. Talking about insurance and work." Sean said. Their lives were so different from average but for right now it seemed like they would actually get to experience a chance at normal.

"Yeah. Let's see how long it lasts." Alex said sitting down on their couch.

"Don't sound so optimistic Alex." Sean said smiling. He sat down next to her and they both leaned back on the couch, comfortable in the silence.

* * *

"Thanks for letting me stay with the two of you for a while." Ryan said taking the extra blanket from Nikita as he stepped into her guest room in her and Michaels two bedroom apartment.

"No problem Fletch." Nikita said closing the door behind her.

"Why is he staying with us again? Everyone else got their own place." Michael asked.

"He's the only one of us who has never had to pretend to be someone else. His mother is still alive Michael but he can't go see her without the President finding out that we're all alive too. It's his first time trying to create a new life for himself; give him time to adjust."

"Fine. But he's not staying here forever." Michael said grumpily.

* * *

"So." Owen said sitting down on the beat up couch he got from a thrift store down the street.

"So." Irina said back sitting on the on the other end of the beat up piece of furniture.

"I haven't had a roommate since I was a recruit in Division." Owen said awkwardly.

"I haven't had a room to myself since I was six years old living with my parents in Russia." Irina said back. Somehow this conversation was not getting any better.

"Well I'm going to bed." Owen said suddenly and headed to his room.

"Yeah me too." Irina said going to her room.

* * *

"Living together. That's a big step." Birkhoff said running his hands over each other nervously.

"We lived together in Division Seymour." Sonya said as if she was reminding him.

"I know but that was different. I mean it wasn't really our choice."

"Do you not want to live with me?" Sonya said wondering if this was a bad idea.

"No! I mean yes! Yes, I want to live with you it's just…I never lived with my girlfriend before."

"I never would have thought." Sonya said.

"What about you?"

"What?"

"Have you ever lived with a boyfriend before?"

"I've never actually had a boyfriend before." Sonya said a little ashamed of the fact.

"What? No way. How?"

"Well I ended up in Division at eighteen and I was a little busy just trying to survive before that. Relationships just seemed like a waste of time."

"Wait you've been in division for almost twelve years? How did I never see you before?" Birkhoff asked shocked.

"You were always off doing secret jobs for Percy or training the recruits. I was just another tech until Amanda upgraded me to take your place when you left."

"Huh. I never realized how oblivious I was."

"It's alright I just thought you were a bastard back then so I guess we're even." Sonya admitted.

"Anyway, I'm going to bed now. You coming?" Sonya asked heading to their bedroom.

"Sleeping? Now? Yes, of course, I'm coming, I mean…I'll be there in a sex…I mean second." He ended awkwardly but Soya had long since disappeared down the hall.

"You're a genius dude! Get it together!" Birkhoff hit himself in the head trying to control himself.

* * *

Andrea walked briskly towards Amanda's station in the tent compound they had set up. She opened the flap but paused at the glare she got from Amanda as she looked up from a book she was reading, Neuroscience: Beyond a Hypothesis.

"If you have any more bad news I suggest you just turn around and not come back until you have either fixed the problem." Amanda sad with a threatening glint in her eye.

"I'm not actually sure what type of news you would consider this." Andrea said taking a few more steps into the tent, very cautiously. When she continued to stay silent, Amanda got impatient.

"Just tell me already."

"Seymour Birkhoff destroyed all the cameras you had within the facility but not the one you had placed outside the farm. Once we saw everyone we leave we thought it would be useless but then our techs picked up these images." Andrea spread out four black and white images on the desk. The first depicted a tall man with glasses in a long black trench coat standing next to an older man in a wheelchair just outside the farm. The rest showed these two men in various locations around the farm, as if they were examining it.

"This is bad news Andrea. Very bad news." Amanda said with eyes wide. _How?_

* * *

"It's almost just like I left it." Percy said wheeling into his deserted office back in Division.

"The blood down the hall came off pretty easily. Some bodies took longer to dissolve than others though." Roan said as he followed him.

Percy ignored Roan's somewhat squeamish comment and braced his body on the arms of the wheelchair.

"Are you sure about this?" Roan asked as he watched his boss attempt to stand after nearly a year with a broken spine.

"We've watched Alexandra Udinov manage to reach nearly six months pregnant after being infertile for nearly seven years. It healed you from all your scars from being electrocuted. I think that the Sobelex can repair a little paralysis." Percy said with his mouth in a grimace as he felt his weak legs erupt in a stinging tingling sensation. Roan stood steadily behind Percy ready for any signs of weakness, even though he knew he would see none.

Percy wavered for a second as he stood but then steadied himself and walked somewhat awkwardly toward his the desk.

"What I this?" Percy asked with disgust as he examined the modern glass and plastic atrocity that replaced his old wooden masterpiece.

"It seems Mr. Fletcher has different taste than yourself." Roan said.

"It will have to do, for now." Percy examined the other changes that had been made in his office. Ryan fletcher had no sense of style.

"So what do we do know?" Roan asked.

"We rebuild." Percy said folding his hands together. In just a few short months everything would be back to the way it should have been. Soon they wouldn't be able to ignore him, not when he had the drug that could be the starting point to the cure for death.


	26. Chapter 26

**_A/n: Okay so there is going to be a bit of a time jump here, but I promise you're not missing out. I just needed a large chunk of tie to go by with everything I have planned. Thanks for your support with this story and sorry for the sporadic updates, but college sometimes gets in the way. Keep reading and reviewing :) _**

_3 Months Later_

"Explain it to me again." After weeks of research Andrea finally claimed to understand how it was possible for Roan to survive an electric shock that should have, and was thought to have killed him. She also had a theory on Percy, although that wasn't as concrete.

"According to the data you've given me, this Roan guy shouldn't be alive. After the electric current that ran through him, my guess is a safety switch on the machine that was shocking him had to turn on, cutting off the current before he actually died. He would have been in an immense amount of pain. Has he had other similar experiences where he should have died?" Andrea asked.

"He once fell from one level of a ship to another several yards below, landing on hard metal. However, as he was Percy's pet, he was likely on the regiment and all other forms of narcotic experiments Percy had." Amanda suggested. Andrea was silent for a second but then she spoke.

"So like Sobelex?" She asked. Amanda's eyes widened with realization.

"Yes of course. But Alex relapsed nearly nine months ago. Percy and Roan "died" almost half a year before that. That couldn't be the cure."

"But they could be the ones who took it before we got to it, right?"

"I suppose, but that would mean they would have to have had an agent on the inside the whole time. Once they realized what the drug had done they retrieved it and then started testing it on themselves. That's why even the acid burns Nikita had left on Roan are also gone. But then how did Percy survive that fall? He went down nearly thirty stories, landing on nothing but glass."

"What about his friends in B. I. T.?" Andrea asked.

"How do you even know about them?" Amanda glared and Andrea.

"Oh come on, with all the things I do, you think I don't know about Brink Industrial Technologies? Please."

"I don't know who thought it was a good idea to let you know about them, but I suppose you're right. They most definitely could help him after such a fall. But even they don't have the power to cure everything. I suppose that's why he's in a wheelchair."

"Or was."

"What?"

"These images are a couple months old. If our theories about Sobelex are true and they know about what it can do, there's no way that he's still in that chair."

"Well that makes him a very dangerous complication. Alright Percy, so you can come back from the dead, but just you wait. I too can make things complicated." Amanda said looking at the outdated photograph.

Andrea rolled her eyes and walked away. She really needed a new job.

* * *

"Dammit!" Alex growled from her spot on the couch in the living room. At the sound of her exclamation, Sean rushed in from the kitchen.

"Is the baby coming?" He asked as he ran into the room. It was nearly a week past the due date and yet there was no sign that Nikolas had any plans of making an appearance.

"No. I just can't get up." Alex huffed. Sean did everything he could to stop form smiling at Alex's situation but she still saw.

"Don't you dare laugh at me; this is all your fault."

"I do believe it takes two to tango and I would never laugh at you." Sean said in his defense but still let out a small chuckle as he pulled her up.

"So why did you get up anyway?" Sean asked but as soon as he saw Alex's face he regretted even asking.

"What? Do I need your permission to go to the bathroom?" Alex growled and then waddled away.

Just as she disappeared down the hall the doorbell rang.

"Thank God." Sean went to answer, glad that someone else would be Alex's next target to yell at.

"Hey is she almost ready?" Nikita asked stepping into the house, followed by Michael.

"Ready for what? What are you guys doing here?" Sean asked confused.

"Didn't Alex tell you? Today's her baby shower. Irina, Sonya and I are all taking her out to enjoy one of her last days of freedom for the next eighteen years or so."

"We hope. Unless some underground government facility tries to blow them up." Michael added cheerily.

"Thanks man, as if I didn't have enough to worry about." Sean said glaring at Michael.

"Anyway, Owen, Birkhoff, and Ryan are will be here soon. They're going to help you get Nikolas's room ready since I know you haven't done much since you moved in.

"I painted and varnished all the furniture thank you very much." Sean said.

"Did you baby proof the house yet or get a safe for your guns? I didn't think so." Michael said at Sean's bewildered face.

"Oh. I completely forgot about this." Alex said walking out of the bathroom.

"Well too bad let's go." Nikita began ushering Alex out of the house.

"But I need to-"

"No. We're leaving right now. Bye guys, have fun." Nikita shouted as she shut the door behind her.

"No fair. Alex gets a party and I have to do housework." Sean grumbled.

"She also has to give birth. Would you like to trade places?" Michael asked.

"Good point. I'm going to find some zip ties and find out where I can get outlet plugs and baby gates." Sean said heading upstairs.

* * *

"Guys you didn't have to do this, really. I mean we already pretty much have everything."

"You can never have too many diapers. When I was growing up the social workers used to always complained about having to buy diapers out of pocket because the state only provided so many." Nikita said.

"So the first gift is from Seymour and I." Sonya said lifting up a large square box and handing it to Alex.

Alex opened it to find two devices that resembled walkie-talkies.

"It's a baby monitor that Seymour designed himself. You can choose what sensitivity level you want to set it at as you adjust to being parents and it also monitors breathing levels so if anything is off it will let you know." Sonya explained.

"Thank you so much Sonya and tell Birkhoff thank you as well. Sean and I will probably not leave his room for the first few weeks but this will definitely come in handy." Alex smiled at Sonya.

"This is just from me." Irina handed Alex a bag with tissue paper in it.

Alex pulled out the paper to find a stuffed tiger within. The animal was somewhat cartoonish in shape but the face had a mean snarl on it.

"It's an Amur Tiger from home. Every child deserves a stuffed animal. Your son will always know he comes from a powerful place." Irina said.

"He's perfect; I can't wait to give him to Nik."

"The next gift is from Michael and I" Nikita said handing over a long box.

Alex lifted the lid and couldn't help but smile. Inside was a small red white and blue quilt with the name Nikolas spread largely over the entire thing.

"The colors are for both you and Sean. "

"Thank you so much. It's beautiful and the blue is the same shade as the one Sean painted the nursery in."

"I know. It took Michael two weeks to find fabric with that shade. He was such a girl about wanting it to match."

Alex opened the rest of her gifts. Some were practical like bottles and clothes and some were more for the fun of it. After this day, though, no one would ever be able to say Nikolas Pierce would ever want for anything in his first few years of life. He had enough clothes, toys, and blankets to last him well into childhood.

* * *

"There, I think that's the last one." Owen said getting up from the floor after plugging up the electrical sockets in the living room.

"I think we did it. All the cabinets have been baby proofed there are baby gates for the nursery for the stairs and for the kitchen. Everything can be locked. The weapons are safely secured away. I think we're good." Sean exclaimed.

"Not to mention all electrical appliances and wires are out of reach and all hard corners way above baby level." Birkhoff said.

"I think it's time to relax. Michael said cracking open a beer and handing it to Sean and then he passed around the cold six pack.

"Thank you all. To a hard day's work, making the Pierce house hold safe one socket at a time." He raised his beer and all the others raised theirs in toast.

"Here, here!"

* * *

"We're very impressed with your work Percy, but we will need a little more to be sure your drug does what you claim." An elder gentle man with graying hair and a goatee said.

"What more proof do you need than this?' Percy said walking across the room.

"Your own doctors, the ones who can create biological limbs, said I would never walk again. You can see with your own eyes that they were wrong."

"Exactly. It's a possibility that they were simply mistaken of their own abilities. The only way we are to know that it was not our own staff that helped you walk again is to have proof from a subject we've never interacted with before. Once we have that, then we'll talk payment." The man then got up and left Percy in his office.

"So what do we do now?" Roan asked as he stepped forward from his spot in the shadows.

"Now, we do what they ask. We give them the Udinov girl. Anyone we harm now to test the drug on they wouldn't believe. It has to be here."

"Won't she be having the child any day now?"

"Yes, but we must get her before that happens or they'll never believe us." Percy said.

"Alright, I'll go canvas their home now." Roan said and left the room.

"Be ready to finally be worth the second chance I gave you Miss Udinov." Percy said aloud, even though there was no one else to hear him.


End file.
